Only You
by hsds
Summary: Ten years after DS broke up(in 217) they are forced to work together editing Dan's latest novel. The only problem is that this novel is about Serena. Future Fic AU
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** Ten years after DS broke up they are forced to work together editing Dan's latest novel. The only problem is that this novel is about Serena. Future Fic AU

**Pairings**: Dan and Serena.

**Warning:** Mature. This fic includes mature themes

**Author's Note:** So, I came up with this wacky concept with the help of my friend Diane. Please be patient. In this story Dan never slept with Ms. Carr. DS brokeup in ep 16 and slowly drifted apart. Flashbacks and text messages will be in italics.

**Only You**

Serena stood in front of her full-length mirror and examined her appearance. She pulled down her skirt and fiddled with her blouse. Today was an important day and she was determined to look her best. Her hair fell just behind her ears and was shaped into an elegant bob. She examined the streaks of red and reminded herself that she should make anappointment with her stylist. Today she would find out if she got the job as an editor. She had been an assistant editor focusing on mystery novels for 5 years. When the position opened up in modern fiction for a new editor, she applied immediately. Serena was determined to make something of herself. It had been 6 years since she had graduated from Brown. So, much in life had changed. Serena knew that this was the first big step in her career. She was good at what she did, but she felt like she was wasting away as an editorial assistant. A few years ago, she would never have even applied for this job. She'd have accepted whatever life through at her. But, she had vowed long ago that she'd stop letting things just happen to her. She put on her wire-rimmed glasses and grabbed her briefcase before leaving her apartment. She made her way down the steps of the brownstone and walked briskly to the local café and grabbed a latte to go, before heading down to the subway. If anyone she'd grown up with had seen her would be aghast at the idea of a upper eastsider taking the subway. But, this was now part of her regular routine. Serena rarely took a taxi. She'd had her mother freeze her assets after she had graduated. She was determined to make it on her own without the aide of her name or her money. In fact, she had ditched the name Van Der Woodsen years before.

"_Are you sure you want to do this?" Casey asked._

_"I'm sick of having to live up to my last name. Might as __well__ make it official."_

"_But, this is so random. Your picking a new last name from the phonebook."_

_"Well, I have to get it from somewhere," Serena said half-heartedly._

"_I don't see whats wrong with being who you are? It can't be half bad to have the world at your fingertips."_

_"Its not all that its cracked up to be," she said woefully._

_Casey eyed her friend oddly. There was something strange about her, but he dismissed it and opened up __the phone__ book to a random page just as she had asked him to do._

"_Okay now close your eyes and let your fingers do the walking,"he said more than amused at himself with for his witty joke._

_"Always the joker," Serena replied before doing as he asked._

Serena made her way into the large office building in midtown the held the offices of Stanley and Stanley Publishing. She sucked in a breath flashed her past as she walked by the security desk and took the elevator up to the tenth floor. She turned to her right and noticed a man in a tailored suit eyeing her. She struck an impressive figure with her long legs and slim figure. She rolled her eyes and got off the elevator and made her way down the corridor. The click of her heels against the tile put her at ease for some odd reason.

Serena smiled broadly as the receptionist greeted her. She put her briefcase and lent against the other woman's desk. "Hi, how's it going Lorraine."

"I'm good. You're looking sharp today. Don't worry, you're a shoe-in Serena."

"Thanks. So, how are things going with that guy? You have to give me all the details at lunch. I guess I should get going,"Serena said before going over to her cubicle. She got out the lates manuscript she was supposed to read through as she waited to be buzzed up for her interview. Her nerves were on edge and all she could think about was this interview. It was her big chance. This opportunity that would put her on the fast track to success. Serena no longer relied on her families wealth or name to get her places. She had promised herself that she'd make her own name and now she was so close to achieving this goal.

Dan stood in barefoot and shirtless in the middle of his loft looking out at the Manhattan Skyline. He'd bought the place two years earlier after he'd received the first check from the publisher. He was now a published author. His first book had been rousing success, but now he had the daunting task of writing a follow-up. He took a sip of his coffee and ran a hand through his curly brown locks, which had been growing unruly as of late. He could feel the beginning of a 12 O'clock shadow and contemplated whether he should bother to shave or not. Dan took one last sip of his coffee and went into the bathroom to shave. If there was one thing the ladies hated it was razor burn. He looked back at his reflection and wondered when exactly he'd become this guy; the kind of guy who lived for work and anything to fill the silence. It had been 10 years since he'd last seen her, yet she was on his mind every morning. He could still picture the locks of blonde hair and the feel of her wrapped in his arms that last time.

_Serena laid her head on his chest and looked up at Dan sadly. They both knew this was the end yet neither of them wanted to be the one to speak first. She got up and slipped on her robe and sat beside him._

"_So, this is it."_

_"I guess. I mean soon we'll be off to different colleges. Serena I really think we could make it work, we just have to want to."_

"_Dan, whats the point. Are parents are together. We're going to be stepsiblings. Its just all a little much. Maybe, maybe this was just the way it was meant to be,"she said sadly._

_Dan moved closer to her and said, "No, I can't believe that this is how its supposed to be. We were supposed to be more than this."_

"_Maybe we weren't," she said as tears trickled down her face. Serena felt like a piece of her heart was breaking, but she really didn't see how they could work._

_Dan sighed and quickly put his clothes on. He stood before her in his white button-down shirt and black slack with his jacket in his hand. All he wanted to do was to grab her and shake her and force her to understand that they could do this, but there was no convincing her. So, he bent down kissed her on the cheek and walked out of the penthouse._

Dan saw her a few times at school and then again at graduation. He always wanted to go up to her and give her rousing speech about how they were two souls joined as one, but he knew it was pointless. That day she had broken a little something inside of him. As the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, he started to transform into something, somebody he didn't recognize. So, he poured all of his passion and energy into his writing for in that world his love, his hope, and his dreams didn't die.

Dan finished shaving and opened his phone and texted back Gia. She was his latest girlfriend, the daughter of an Italian winemaker who was running the NY operations. Jenny teased him about his taste in women. She said for a guy who dressed like a slob, he certainly had expensive taste in women. Like the one before her, he knew Gia's time was up because she would never give him the one thing he sought—Love. In fact, there was only one woman who could do that and he hadn't seen her since he was a boy on the verge of manhood.

_Gia, its time._

_-Sorry D._

His sister and Vanessa teased him about his callous breakup methods, but by now the women in his life new the deal. He was a man of very few words unless it involved his work.

Serena walked out of the Vice President's office and nearly jumped for joy. She not only had a great interview, the VP had offered her the job on the spot. She would be moving into her new office by the end of the week, but for now she had to finish up the files she was currently work on. She picked up the phone and called her friend.

"Casey, I got it. It's time to celebrate. Get the gang together this calls for a party."

"A girl after my own heart. There's nothing I love more than an impromptu party," he said with a flourish.

"Go crazy Case. I have to go. I need to call B."

"Go, I have a party to plan. You don't want to keep la grande dame waiting after all."

"Be nice. She's my oldest friend.

"And foe,"he said with sarcasm.

"Casey,"she warned.

"Okay, I'll stop."

Serena hung up and called Blair, but all she got was her voice mail so she left her message. She stared at her surrounding and imagined what it would be like to have her own office instead of gruddy cubicle. She opened her drawer and rifled through a bunch of post-its and pens before she found it. Its edges were worn, but she didn't care. The picture was more than ten years old, but she still remembered the moment that he had come into that room and held her hand and led her to the dance floor. In that moment, they were the only two people that existed. Her grandmother, his fear, her world. None of that mattered. She still remembered the sensation of being dipped and the taste of lips on hers. It was like a rush of adrenaline. It was a moment that Serena had trouble of letting go of. They had shared many memories, but that was the moment she knew she had fallen in love. Serena had spent years trying to capture the feeling of that moment and all the others she had spent with Dan, but nothing every seemed to suffice. She knew she should probably speak to Vince, but he was off on a shoot somewhere exotic and she really was tired of questioning his fidelity. So, Serena got out her cell and sent him a text.

_Vince,_

_No more chains for either of us._

_Salut,_

_Serena_

Later that evening Serena's apartment was packed with people. Her small gathering had somehow ballooned into a full-fledged house party, but she didn't mind. She wanted to celebrate and to enjoy the evening. She spotted Blair in the corner sipping on a glass of Chardonay.

"Hey there B."

"Some party you have going on. S, when are you going to give up this charade. House parties packed with people, a lowlevel job at a publishing house. You're so much better than all of this."

"Blair, I have to do this my way and I like house parties. You need to relax and have some fun."

"I just don't see what's wrong with a classy cocktail party."

"That's your life not mine, B."

"It used to be yours too," she replied glumly.

"And I was miserable in it. I'm happy B. Just be happy for me," Serena pleaded.

Blair smiled and handed her drink to her friend and said, "Come on let's dance."

A few weeks later, Dan was working away on his latest chapter when he got a call from his agent.

"We have a problem Humphrey."

"What's going on Stan?"

"Your editor the one who's working on your current book quit. The publishing house is finding a replacement as we speak, but its going to slow everything down."

"A new editor. You have to be fucking kidding me. I can't work with someone else halfway through my book. That's ridiculous."

"You don't have a choice."

"There must be something we can do. I've never heard of something like this happening. Its going to fuck up the flow," Dan said as he paced his apartment.

"Well find a new flow cause you have no choice. Anyways you have a meeting with your new editor in the morning it's a Ms. Jamieson."

Serena had a huge file dropped on her desk by her assistant.

"Whats this?"

"Its your new priority#1 according to the man upstairs."

"What?"

Serena opened up the file and found herself looking at ghost. She turned pale. This could not be happening. She looked through the basic information and found herself staring at an author's bio of her exboyfriend.

"This cannot be happening,"she muttered to herself.

Serena closed the file and too the envelope that probably included his latest chapters and whatever edits the previous editor had done and marched herself upstairs to her bosses office. She marched in univited and planted the file and the envelope on her desk.

"This is not happening Marge."

"What do you mean? You're an editor now. Your job is to edit books.

"I won't edit this book. No way no how."

"Why? He's a new author with one successful book under his built.

"Its personal okay. Fire me if you have to have, but I will not edit this book,"Serena insisted.

Margaret Wilder was normally mild mannered except for when her editors through hissy fits which happened every now and then. She was also a tall woman with a death scare that would strike fear into the heart of the Manhattan Garbage Union. She placed her hands on her desk and looked Serena straight in the eyes, "I really don't care what went on with you and this writer or how long you once fucked. You have a job to do and you will do it. Is that clear?"

Serena swallowed. There was something about this women that made her feel uncomfortable, so she simply nodded and turned around.

"You forgot something Ms. Van Der Woodsen."

Serena turned around with her mouth agape.

"I investigate all of my employees," she said with a nod of her head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter2: Shock and Awe Part 1**

Serena's palms were wet and she was shaking. How had this happened to her? She'd spent so much time and effort trying to hid her identity so that she could forge her own path, but it was all for nothing. Once again, she was a victim of her name of her status. She thought changing her name and appearance would make things easier, but who was she kidding so long as she stayed in New York, she was bound to be haunted by her past. But, what was done was done. Serena refused to run anymore. She'd spent a great deal of her life doing just that. She was still determined to make it her way whether they knew who she really was or not. But, what scared her more than anything was the idea of facing Dan. Her Dan. It had been ten years, but she felt like she was still a part of his life. She'd clipped his articles and any news she could find on him. It was like she had been tracking his success secretly hoping for failure, but all she found was a man who had forgotten about his high school girlfriend—a girl he once claimed to love.

"So, much for forever," she muttered to herself.

She had a little over hour before he came in to discuss his novel and Serena wasn't sure she could handle the idea of seeing him again. She adjusted her glasses and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. She contemplated how she would behave, what she would say? A part of her was excited while another part of her wanted to punish him for being such a public figure. For forcing her to have to read about his personal exploits and the various heiresses that he had dated. Every snapshot of him with another woman cut her deeply. She just wanted to lash and hurt them both, but too much time had passed and she no longer had a right to those emotions. So, she had to keep a cool exterior and maintain a professional demeanour. Serena just hoped that during this long process that her façade didn't start to crack. The last thing she needed was to breakdown in front of a new client and an old flame.

Serena took out the file and started flipping through it and she took out the chapters that were in the envelope. She stared at the title and wondered if she really was ready, but at this point she had no choice. She buzzed her assistant to come in.

Leah, a young girl in her early 20s and a desire to please stood before her. Serena remembered her first day as an editorial assistant. She though she had finally arrived, but little did she know she still had a long way to get to the place she wanted to be. Hell, she still wasn't there. A couple of weeks ago she was Leah.

"I need you to bring in two cappuccinos in mugs. Scratch that run down to the Starbucks and get us two Skim Cappuccinos and remember to ask for extra phone. Grab a bunch of chocolate chunk cookies while you're at it."

"Anything else, Ms. Jamieson."

"Yes, call me Serena. Ms. Jamieson makes me feel old," she said before putting the chapter to the side and getting out a list of issues she wanted to go over. The last thing she wanted to seem like was unprofessional. She was determined to show her best face.

Serena took out her compac and a reapplied some lip-gloss and made sure her hair was in place. She adjusted her jacket and her skirt as she waited for him to arrive.

Dan waked through the doors of the publishers with an impending sense of gloom. This was so stupid, but he really had no other option. He'd signed a contract and had already been paid the initial lump sum. So, its not like he could just tell them to shove it. Getting to know a new editor would disrupt his whole process. He had developed a rhythm with the last editor even if she was a bit of a flake. Dan wondered what kind of flake he'd be saddled with this time.

He smiled at the assistant and said, "I'm Dan Humphrey. I have an appointment with Ms. Jamieson."

"Hello, I'm Leah her assistant," she said as she turned a bright red. He was a handsome man and there was something about his eyes that made her flush, but Leah was also naturally nervous around the opposite sex. She preferred female company because she felt more like herself.

Dan smiled to himself. He still found it a bit disconcerting when women blushed in his presence. He knew women found him attractive, but he liked to think it had more to do with his wit and charm than his mere physical presence. The way he looked certainly wasn't something he liked to focus on too much, unless he was in between companions and looking.

Dan followed the young woman into a large office where she introduced him to a stunning Amazon creature. She had hair that fell just below her ears. It was glossy and shiny with a hint of red. She wore a conservative suit that did nothing to hide what was most likely a stunning physique. She was nothing short of breath taking even if she did exude a little bit of the sexy librarian, but there was something about her that seemed hauntingly familiar. He just couldn't pin point what it was. Serena on the other hand shifted uncomfortably as she came face to face with her past. He had changed very little since high school. The contours of his face were a little sharper and his body seemed a bit firmer, but he was essentially the same boy she had fallen in love with. She swallowed hard, adjusted her glasses and reached her out.

"Hello, Mr. Humphrey. I'm Ms. Jamieson."

Dan smiled at her and said, "Why so formal? No first name."

"I like to keep things strictly professional," Serena replied as she awkwardly readjusted her glasses.

Dan looked at her sceptically, all the while trying to figure out why she seemed so damn familiar to him. He silently appraised her as she babbled on about his vision and his last book. The little bit of cleavage that kept poking out from under her jacket prevented him from fully concentrating on what she was saying.

_Damn, she's hot and she's got an amazing rack on her. I wonder if she'd go out with me._

"Mr. Humphrey. Mr. Humphrey, are you listening to me?"Serena asked.

"What? What did you say."

"Have you heard a single word I've said?"

"Um, not really. I was a little distracted."

She looked at him and then realized his eyes were zeroed in on her chest. She quickly adjusted her jacket and said, "if you could get your mind out of the gutter for two seconds and look at the notes I've made I think we can get started on how to rework your book."

"What do you mean rework my book? My chapters are just fine."

"They're a little choppy and the narrative is a bit clichéd don't you think?"

Dan stood up and glared down at her, "listen its bad enough you people fucked me around by giving me an idiot editor and are now suddenly switching it up on me, but I will not have you messing with my prose. Is. That. Clear."

Serena stood up to her full height and said, "Listen. I'm the editor her not you, buddy."

It was then that it finally clicked. He had fought this fight before. Well maybe not the content. It was her. The hair was shorter with flair of color and her face had aged a bit. But, mostly it was the glasses and the uptight demeanor that had thrown him off.

"Serena? Is that really you?" he asked softly.

The sound of his voice going soft when he recognized her made her heart beat a little faster. She smiled shyly and said, "Yes, but that's not the point. I'm here to do a job Dan and you're going to let me damn well do it."

He stood there for what seemed like forever before saying, "I, I, I need to sit down."


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** I wanted to thank everyone for their reviews. I know some stuff may seem very strange, but keep in this mind this is an AU story. Remember above all else I'm a DS fan first and all my drama always leads back to them. Every chapter will not have flashbacks, but some will. Chapter 3-Shock and Awe part 2

Serena fidgeted as Dan looked at her in confusion and shock. She didn't know what to say or do. She had a feeling he would eventually figure out who she was, but she was hoping to delay that moment as long as possible. Now, she was stuck sitting behind her desk with a dumbstruck Dan gaping at her as if somebody had ripped his tongue out and he'd lost the ability to speak.

"Dan, I know you are surprised to see me, but we really have a lot to get through."

He shook his head and said, "you're right. I just wasn't expecting to see you. How, have you been?"

"Okay. I've been just fine, "she said tightly. The last thing she wanted was for the meeting to become a rehash of the past. They had a shared past, but above all they both had a jobto do. Just seeing him felt like someone was stabbing her in the heart. He looked good. She could see that the years had been good to him and all she wanted to do was flip back the years and go back to that day. She had waited for him to make her take it back because she was too paralyzed by fear to make that move. How was she to explain exactly how far from okay she really was? The fact was he could never really know. Too much time had past between them; too much pain.

_Serena looked out the __window__ of her small dorm room watching as the rain pelted the glass. It had been 6 months and she had heard nothing from him. She let the tears fall down her face. Even the knock on her door couldn't drag her from her trance._

"_Hey, S you wanna grab something to eat. Hey, you okay?"Casey said as he turned her to face him. He saw the tears and wondered what was going on._

_"Its really over, Case."_

"_What's over?"_

_"Nevermind, its too complicated to explain," she said as she wiped the last of the tears from her face._

"Its so good to see you, S"he said as he smiled back at her. He noticed a small picture frame on her desk and asked, "may I?" before picking it up. It was a picture of her and a tall striking man with auburn hair.

"So, you're married? Congratulations Serena. I'm sure he is great guy, "Dan said with a touch of regret in his tone. She really had moved on and he was still lonely boy. The woman, the publicity would never change the fact that something's never changed. While Serena had been building a life with a partner, he still remained the same lonely guy that she'd met years before. He'd never found that person that he could feel settled with. Actually that was lie, he had found her but she'd slipped through his fingers when he was still a boy.

"um, Dan its, not..."

"What his name?"he asked.

_Oh crap he thinks I'm married. Think fast Serena. Think Fast._

"Uh, Casey. His name is Casey, "she said as she cringed at the blatant lie.

"I'm so happy for you. Well, why don't you read the rest of the chapters and you can email me a time for us to go over your thoughts. I have to go meet my agent soon anyway."

"Okay, I'll get back to you, "Serena said as she walked him to the door. He hugged her tightly and she took in his scent as if she was memorizing it for prosperity. In that instant she knew that she'd never let go of him.

Serena sat in her apartment later that evening with a bowl of popcorn and bad movie when her neighbour and good friend popped in for his nightly visit.

"Clueless and buttered popcorn. Either you've been dumped or fired."

"Neither."

"Then what is it? I let my ex think I got married."

Casey's eyes bugged and said, "what? Married? How the hell did that happen?"

Serena stuffed a mouthful of popcorn in her mouth and mumbled, "It gets better. He thinks I'm married to you."

"Okay, I think I need a drink. But, how and who is this guy?"he asked dumbfounded.

"Its Dan Humphrey."

"The writer? I thought you guys ended back in highschool. Why is he suddenly clueless worthy?"

"He, he. Its a long story."

"OMG he's the one you're were moping for wasn't it? I should have put two and two together. He's the asshole orignale. The reason you've been dating a string of artsy losers."

"He's not an asshole. Dan is just Dan, "she said as she reached for her diet soda.

"So, why does he think we're married?"Casey asked as he popped a few pieces of popcorn in his mouth."

"Well, he's kind of my new client. Apparently my predecessor was his editor and I couldn't get out of it. He didn't recognize me at first and then he saw that pic of us and just sort of assumed."

"And you didn't correct him because you wanted to make him jealous."

"No, no thats not it at all."

"Serena."

"Well maybe just a little. God, Casey how am I going to get out of this."

"It's no big deal. Just let him think it's true. Anyways, it's just while you're doing this book stuff. Once it's done, he's out of your hair."

She looked at him sceptically and said, "I guess you're right."

Dan was sitting on his couch with his little sister trying to explain everything that was happening, but he barely had time to register it all. Serena was married and not to him. It was like in that moment a piece of his heart broke. A part of him had held on to the notion that one day they'd find their way back to each other, but now he knew that would never happen.

"Fate is cruel Jenny."

"I can't believe she's your new editor. That's fate Dan."

"Have you not heard a word that I've said. She's married."

Jenny laughed and said, "its not like thats stopped you before."

"Low blow. I had no idea she was married and I ended it when I found out."

"Like you end all your relationships with a text,"Jenny said mockingly.

"Its effective and it avoids tears and awkwardness."

"It's cold, "Jenny said.

"It's clean and efficient."

"You say tomato, I say tomata. Now, what are you going to do about Serena?"

Dan looked at his sister quizzically, "nothing. I told you she's married and I do not breakup marriages."

"Who are you kidding? You're still in love with her. You've been in love with her this whole time. You've never let her go Dan. Plus with the two of you its like nothing and no one can stop you anyways. It's only a matter of time before fate forces your hand Dan.'

"You make me sound pathetic Jen,"he said as he went to pour her another cup of coffee.

"That because when it comes to her you are. I don't get it, but she's always had this crazy hold over you. The only time you've been happy is when you were with her. I just, I just want you to be happy again Dan."

A few weeks had past since Dan and Serena's initial encounter. They had managed to come up with a routine that seemed to work for them both, but could best be described as avoidance. Dan worked diligently at his loft and couriered in his chapters for her to edit and then she messengered them to his place. They had managed to reduce their interaction to daily emails and telephone calls, but Serena knew that they weren't getting far and there were still a lot of hurdles with his prose. Dan continued to ignore her suggestions and she continued to send back the same notations. It was also difficult because she knew that his heroine was a fictionalized version of herself. For the first time, she was beginning to see what he thought of her and it wasn't entirely pleasant. He depicted her as a rich girl who was afraid to love. She hated to think that this was what he thought of her so, she emailed and scheduled an appointment. They needed to have a brainstorming session because this was not the sort of heroine readers would warm to. The reason that his first novel had done so well is the fact that he was able to give all his characters a warmth that was missing from these chapters.

What happened to him? When did he become so cold?"she thought to herself. It was like the Dan Humphrey she had fallen in love with had died and was replaced with a methodical, unfeeling man who used people like paper napkins. But, she refused to believe that this was what he had been reduced to.

When he came in she was waiting with her notes and a file of suggestions for him to use as he reworked his chapters.

"Hey, so you wanted to see me,"Dan asked.

"Please take a seat. I don't know how to say this. But, I've sent you a bunch of edits and all you've done is table my suggestions."

"I'm not changing my book for you, Serena. It's my work. My voice, "he said.

"I understand that, but my job is to help you fine tune that voice."

"No, you're job is to proofread my work and make sure my grammar and punctuation is top notch. This is my work not yours."

Serena took off her glasses and tried not to break them into smithereens. "My job is to make sure this book is good, "she picked up his last book and said, "this was brilliant, but these chapters are absolute crap Dan. They lack heart. Technically there is nothing wrong with it except for the fact that your hero is an asshole and your heroine is a frigid bitch."

Dan looked at her in disbelief. He couldn't be hearing what he thought he was hearing. He felt his temper bubbling to the surface. "How dare you? What do you know about writing?"

Serena got up and slapped him across the face. "How dare you. I got this job because I know what I am doing."

Dan touched his cheek in shock and looked at her in shock.

"You slapped me, "he said.

"Well, you insulted me."

"You called my work crap."

"You called me unprofessional."

Dan started laughing hysterically and before he knew it Serena had joined in. They stood there laughing for minutes before they both got a hold of their sudden bout of mirth.

"let's start again. Dan, I'm on your side. I believe in you, but these chapters are not your best work."

He sat down on the small couch and sighed, "so, I guess we make it good."

"We have no choice."

Serena handed him a fresh legal pad and said, "we better get started."

"what's this for?"

"For you take notes, I have a few changes in my mind."

He simply nodded and said, "Do you have a pen and a cappuccino. I can't work without coffee."

Serena smiled and summoned Leah to get them two cappuccinos'.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the delay, but life sorta got in the way. Chapter 4: Dinner with Jamieson's

**Chapter 4-Dinner with the Jamieson's**

Dan and Serena had been spending a lot of time together in the past two weeks. They were practically holed up in her office going over his new approach to model. They reviewed each of the characters and the arcs he had planned for them. Leah was constantly making coffee runs to hold them over. Serena had not felt like this in a very long time. Just being in his company put her at ease. She had always been fascinated by how Dan's brain worked it was a big part of her initial attraction to him. He was just so smart and she felt like she could learn so much from him. She looked at him and took her glasses off, "that's it. We're done for now."

"So, next I write."

"You write," Serena repeated.

Dan looked at his watch and said, "its late. Your husband must be worried."

Serena looked around awkwardly and said, "uh, he's cool. He understands."

"Yeah, but he must not like you working late so many nights and especially with you ex."

"Uh, he's real understanding," Serena, said wondering when this charade would come to an end. She knew she should tell him, but she had no idea how to do it.

"I'm glad. You deserve the best he said," he said as he smiled that dazzling smile of his. It unnerved her and made her want to put as much distance between them as possible, but really she had no choice. Maybe it was best that he thought she was married. At least this way neither of them were tempted to cross that imaginary line that would send them back through time.

"So, I was thinking maybe its time I met this mysterious husband of yours."

"Uh sure," Serena replied.

"Dinner at my place. I'll bring Jenny. I'm sure she'd love to see you after all this time. How's Saturday for you?" he asked.

"I'll have to ask Casey," she muttered.

"Great, just call me," he said before packing up and leaving her office. Serena plopped herself down on the black couch and said, "this is a disaster waiting to happen."

Serena was pacing in her living room as she waited for Casey to come over. Usually he popped her head in the door a little after dinnertime, but it was almost nine and still there was no sight of him. Normally that wouldn't bother her, but she really needed to talk to him. How the hell were they going to convince Dan and Jenny that they were married? Serena knew nothing about marriage. The little experience she had with it was watching her mothers various marriages fall apart. She was an expert on divorce not marriage.

"God, how the hell did I get myself in this mess," she said to herself.

"Let's see you lied to your ex,"Casey said as he walked into the living room.

"Finally it took you long enough," she said as she dragged him towards the couch. Serena placed her feet in his lap and said, "we have a problem. Dan wants to have dinner with my husband."

"So, we'll just go then."

"Are you not listening to me. We have to get out stories straight. This is Dan and he knows me well, better than you do."

Casey dramatically held his hand to his heart and said, "Ouch, you wound me so."

"Stop the dramatics. Dan and his sister and Jenny well they were a big part of my life and they can tell when I'm lying."

"If they can tell you're lying, how come the literary genius hasn't figured it out yet."

"He's definitely suspicious. He kept asking me questions about you and I kept trying to change the subject. You have to help me Case."

Casey grabbed her foot and massaged it gently and said, "first relax. Second, I'll do it. We'll just practice our stories and it will be a piece of cake. Don't get all worked up about it. Tense doesn't suit you. Plus you don't want to get crow's-feet from all that crinkling of your eyes,"

Serena gave him a dirty look and threw a cushion at him.

Dan was busy sprinkling some herbs in his homemade pasta sauce as Jenny blabbering away about her latest designs. She had started her own label a few years ago and she was slowly building a name for herself. He was proud of his little sister. Jenny really had come very far. She'd spent years working for Eleanor before she decided it was time to break out on her own. He loved hearing the enthusiasm in her voice and in many ways it reminded him of how he felt about his writing. He loved being asked to do a story by the magazine, but his true love was make a new for himself in the literary world. His first novel had largely been a sort of therapy session to help him deal with the mess that had been his late teens. But, it was the process that made him realize that being a novelist was what he was meant to do. As a kid he knew he wanted to be a writer, but he was never sure what type of writer he wanted to be.

"Atleast something useful came out of that mess," he thought to himself.

Jenny watched as he vigorously stirred the pot. She knew something was up. He was tense and she had feeling it had everything to do with the couple that was coming over this evening. She still didn't understand why her brother wanted to subject himself to meeting Serena's husband. It was obvious to her that he was still in love with her, but he was just too stupid or stubborn to admit it.

"So, why exactly are you doing this again?"Jenny asked.

"I thought it would be nice."

"Nice? Nice is sending a nice gift to their place via courier. Nice is a card saying congratulations not an intimate dinner with your exgirlfriend and her husband,"she said.

Dan reduced the heat on his sauce and turned to face his sister.

"What exactly is your point Jen?"he asked with a touch of irritation in his voice.

"I think you're up to something,"she said as she took a sip of her wine "and I think you're still in love with her."

Dan made a face and said, "don't be an idiot. That's water under the bridge. It was ten years ago. Anyway she's married now."

"I still think it's a bad idea, but I promise I'll shut up about it for now."

A little over an hour later, Jenny was finishing up setting the table when the doorbell rang. She went over to open the door and greeted Serena who looked striking as usual. There was something different about the way she carried herself. She looked like the girl she knew, but there was something different about her. It wasn't the subtle change in her hairstyle or even the glasses she seemed to wear, but the way she carried herself. Serena hugged Jenny fiercely.

"Jenny, how are you?"she said gleefully.

The man that stood behind her was tall and distinguished. He had sandy brown hair with a touch of gold and was dressed in a finely cut suit that had to be Armani or atleast a good knock off. He smiled at Jenny brightly and she couldn't seem to help but blush. He was impeccably groomed. The two of them made a striking pair.

"Come in and have a seat. Dan is just getting dressed."

"You two have a lovely home," Casey said.

Serena and Jenny simultaneously burst into laughter. "Um we aren't together. Dan's my brother."

Casey sheepishly cast his eyes downwards, "Oh I'm sorry."

Serena and Casey took a seat on the couch as Jenny went to get them each a glass of wine. She handed them each a glass and sat across from them. She was trying to observe them and figure exactly what was wrong with this picture. They both were rather comfortable in the others presence, but there was a certain friction missing.

"This is absolutely perfect," Jenny thought to herself.

Dan walked into the room and Jenny couldn't help, but note the change in Serena's body language. She went from relaxed and playful to slightly tense. She held tightly to Casey's hand as if it were life preserver. The friction and electricity that had been missing between Serena and her husband was now circling the air as she exchanged glances with Dan.

"OMG, she's still in love with him," Jenny thought to herself as she took a sip of her drink and mentally prepared for the show that would inevitably enfold.

Casey sized up Dan and couldn't help, but notice the fact that Serena's ex was gorgeous. He had cheekbones that looked like God himself chiselled them and he had the most breathtakingly gorgeous eyes.

"He's beautiful,"he whispered in Serena's ear.

"Stop it," She whispered back.

Dan watched them and couldn't help but feel like grabbing Casey and throwing him out the window. Knowing Serena was married was one thing. Watching her with him was another. Jenny was right this was stupid. It was like he was trying to punish himself.

"So, dinner will be ready soon. Its great to meet you Casey,"Dan said.

"I was telling your sister earlier how much I love your place. I love open concept. The design is impeccable. Do you have a decorator?"he asked.

Dan looked at him as if he'd swallowed a crazy pill. "A decorator?"

"Yes, an interior decorator"

"Um not really. I just got Jenny and my friend Vanessa to help me. I wouldn't even know where to find an interior decorator," he said awkwardly.

"You're looking at one"

"I see."

Serena held his hand and said, "Yeah Case designed Blair's place."

"So, you guys are still talking?" Dan asked.

"Of course. We just don't run in the same circles anymore," Serena stated emphatically.

Dan looked at her and tried to figure out what was wrong with this picture. She was acting weird and he had no idea why. There was also something a little bit odd about Casey. He seemed a little feminine and it didn't help that he was convinced that he was checking him out. Dan looked over at his sister and they shared a strange look.

"I'm going to check on the food. I'll be right back," Dan said.

Jenny got up and said, "I'm gonna go help him."

Dan started to take the chicken out of the oven when Jenny came into the room.

"Serena's husband is gay,"she said.

"I think you're right because I could swear he was checking me out,"Dan said awkwardly.

"Oh he was definitely checking you out,"she said.

He placed the oven on the counter and took out his serving plate and placed the bird on it and handed it over to Jenny to put it on the table.

"So what do we do?"he asked when she returned to the kitchen.

"I don't know."

"I have to tell her."

"How do you tell someone that their husband is gay?"Jenny asked.

"I don't know, but I have too," Dan said.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** I'd like to thank everyone for their reviews. I'm glad you all are enjoying the story.

**Chapter 5- Rage, Lies, and Understanding**

Dan was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that Serena was married to someone that could not love her the way she was supposed to be loved. She deserved someone that would adore and wanted her, heck who wanted a woman. She deserved to know, but how exactly was he going to tell her. The whole conversation with Jenny was weighing on his mind during dinner. Maybe she was wrong; maybe they were both reading a little too much into the situation.

"Its probably just wishful thinking, Humphrey "he thought to himself.

Dan looked over at them and for all intents and purposes they looked like a happy couple. He didn't know what bothered him more. The thought of Serena being happily married to someone else or the prospect that she was stick in a marriage where she was most likely unhappy and unloved. He still could not fathom why he cared so damn much. Their relationship at this point was largely professional. She was his ex and his editor and that was it. But, Dan couldn't help but want to integrate her into his life. It just felt like his life was finally coming together in the past few weeks. He couldn't pinpoint exactly why he felt that way, but Dan knew his life was always better when Serena was around. It was just a fact. He remembered all those nights that he sat in his door room and attempted to write to her. One of his deepest regrets was losing touch with Serena. He looked over at her and tried to make the best of the stituaion. He really had no right to discuss her husband's sexual preference with her. It was her business, but a part of him felt protective.

"The food is wonderful, "Serena commented. She could feel Dan quietly assessing her from the other side of the table. He was normally very chatty and his uncharacteristic silence was disturbing her. Silence usually meant he was brooding and she had no idea what exactly he would have to brood about.

"Smile darling, "Casey whispered in her ear.

"You certainly know how to put on a show, "she whispered back.

"That's why I'm here. I'm just playing the role of the dutiful husband, "he replied.

Serena caught Dan looking their way and smiled conspiratorially at Casey. It was a calculated move meant to evoke jealousy, but all she wanted was to make him suffer for all the lonely nights; for all the days she waited for him to get in touch with her. She wanted to get back at him for all those women that had been draped on his arm for all the world to see. Serena knew she had no right to want to punish him, but she still did. She wanted to punish him for every woman he had ever slept with that wasn't her. All she wanted was to inflict an iota of the pain that she had suffered.

Dan looked at them and tried to hide the anger that was building inside of him. It hurt to see her like this. She seemed so happy and unaware. Every smile she sent her husband's way made Dan want to throw his fist through the wall. He should just be honest with her and stop stringing her along. All he wanted to do was to confront the bastard for keeping her locked up in a marriage that was essentially a lie.

"So, how did the two of you meet?"Dan asked.

"We met at Brown. It was my freshman year and I was feeling a little down. You see I was still grieving after a recent breakup and Casey was there to help,"Serena said.

Dan knew exactly the game she was up to. "Well, that's the risk you run when you do the dumping,"he replied.

"That doesn't mean you stop feeling something for that person,"she retorted.

"Well maybe you should have thought of that before giving up. It might have saved you a lot of heartache."

"Ending a relationship doesn't mean you have to sever all ties,"she said with more than a hint of bitterness.

Jenny and Casey shared awkward looks. "Casey, why don't you help me clear the dishes."

Dan and Serena sat across from each other staring daggers at each other. They were like two soldiers facing off on the battlefield neither of them willing to stand down. Serena was angry and for the first time in years the source of her anger was right in front of her. Dan looked at her. All those years of feeling bitterness and hurt over her giving up on them so easily came pouring out. He hadn't intended to do it in front of Casey, but her pointed remark set him off.

"What the hell is your problem, Serena?"Dan insisted.

"My problem? How dare you?"she said.

"No, how dare you? You act like I dumped you. You were the one that left me that day. You are the one that walked away,"he said with a hint of sadness seeping through.

"Well, I apparently meant nothing since you forgot about me, about us so easily."

"That's not fair. You do not how I felt and anyway why do you care. You're the one that went and got married or have you forgotten about your husband already?"he retorted. Dan knew that he was being mean, but he no longer cared. Its like he had no control over his acerbic comments.

Serena got out of her seat and headed towards the first open door she could find. She unintentionally found herself in an empty room. It was some sort of library. It was surrounded by books and there was a desk in the middle of the room. There was shelf after shelf of books. From dictionaries to classic novels to the latest biographies. She tried to distract herself by sitting at his desk and that's when she saw the photo and her heart nearly stopped. She picked up the frame and looked at her teenage-self in dan's arms at the cotillion. She had the same photograph, but unlike Dan she kept it hidden away from public viewing. He had on its desk for anyone to see. Serena was suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling of shame and self-loathing for her accusations.

"I guess, he didn't forget,"she said.

"No, Serena I didn't," Dan said as he stood in front of her. "I wanted to apologize. I shouldn't have said what I did."

"I owe you an apology too."

"Just tell me one thing Serena,"he asked.

"Okay, shoot."

"Are you happy?"he asked.

Serena paused before speaking and said, "yes, I'm happy."

"I'm glad. Its all I've ever wanted for you,"he said.

Serena got up and let him hug her. She held tightly to him and soaked up his scent. She missed this. She missed the feel of him. They stood their embracing for awhile longer before letting go.

"Come on Jenny and Casey are waiting for us in the kitchen,"Dan insisted.

When they got their they found Jenny sitting with Nate and Casey who were huddled close together.

"Nate? What are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd come here and hang out. I was just talking to Casey here,"he said.

Serena noticed an odd friction between Casey and Nate. She knew her friend well enough to realize when he was attracted to someone. She just hoped that Nate let him down gently. For as jovial as Casey seemed he had a fragile heart.

Serena and Dan joined the others at the island and dug into the Cheesecake he had picked up at the local pastry

ONE WEEK LATER

Nate put his shirt back on and looked down at the sleeping figure of Casey. He'd never done something like this before and didn't know how he felt. All he knew was that he needed to leave before he woke up. He had never been with a man before and never thought he would. There were times when the idea had crossed his mind or when he noted that another man was attractive, but he had never thought of himself as gay. Its not that he feared what people would say. He had stopped caring what his family thought long ago. He was just confused and he had no idea where to go, but he knew there was only person who could understand how he was feeling, but he had no idea how to reach him.

"Hey, jenny."

"hey, Nate what's going on?"

"Do you have Eric's address. I need to talk to him about something."

"Sure, I'll text it to you. Is everything okay?"she asked.

"Yeah, everything is just fine."

A little over an hour later he found himself knocking on Eric's door. He opened the door looking bleary-eyed and disheveled.

"Hey, I know this is a bad time, but you are the only person who'd understand.

Meanwhile, Serena was sitting on her couch watching clueless for the second time that week. There was something comforting about the cheesy movie. It had this way of making her feel better when she was down and the past week had been exhausting at past. She had barely spoken to Dan since the dinner and she was having a rough time dealing with the fct that Casey was being distant. She had a feeling he was angry with her. The sound of knocking dragged her from her thoughts.

"Dan? What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?"he asked

"Sure,"she said.

Dan started to pace her living room trying to figure out how to tell her. He'd debated having this conversation with her all week, but it was something he needed to address. He looked around and felt like something was off. He couldn't quite pinpoint what it was.

"I have to tell you something and I, I didn't know how to tell you. I thought do I just email her this? Do I call? You know you can't just spit this sort of thing out,"he blathered.

"You're rambling Dan?"

"I,I get like that when I'm nervous."

"I know,"she said matterfactly.

"We should sit down,"he said. Dan sat beside her on the couch and looked at her awkwardly. He had no idea how to tell her, but he had better just say it. "I think Casey is gay,"he said.

"what?"

"I think he is gay?"

"Dan!"

"I'm sorry I know I'm really out of line here, but its just a hunch that I have"

Serena put her hand on his leg and said, "calm down. There is something I need to tell you. Casey is not my husband and you're right he is gay."

Dan looked at her aghast. She had lied to him again. He shouldn't have been surprised. It was her thing. She had this bad habit of lying to him.

"Let me get this straight. You lied to me about married then got your gay friend to pretend to be your husband."

"Yes,"she said.

"I guess some things never change,"he said in a dismissive tone.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"she replied.

"It means you lie. That's what you do. Its what you've always done."

"How dare you!"

"No, you don't get to be all angry and self-righteous. I didn't do anything wrong here. I didn't lie you did."

"No, you're just the same pompous asshole you were when you were 17,"she retorted as he stormed out of her apartment and slammed the door. Serena covered her face with her hands and silently began to weep. She knew he was right on some level, but she hated that he was so cruel and dismissive to her. For some reason, she had a bad habit of lying to him. It wasn't what she normally did, but he left her such a jumble of emotions that she often felt like she had no other choice.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: **This chapter is a set up for upcoming chapters. Yeah, I know longest filler chapter in history

**Chapter 6: Owner of a lonely heart**

Dan walked through the city streets after leaving Serena's place haunted by a familiar feeling: he'd taught himself to live outside of his emotions unless it had to do with his writing. In a span of a month, he'd started to feel those emotions creeping back and he was struggling with how to deal with the pain and hurt and frustration he felt which he avoided for years. Ten years later, he was breaking his vow of exposing himself to the pain he felt the first time he lost Serena and it was ripping him up inside. Dan could hardly believe he'd allowed himself to get sucked in once again. What was he thinking? He should have kept everything strictly professional because with Serena things were never uncomplicated. Dan sat on a bench in the park and just looked around him trying not to relive the past.

_Dan watched her, as he stood on that stage poised and ready to wax poetic about his years at St. Jude's. The two __schools__ had decided to do a joint ceremony, but his words felt empty. Later as his classmates posed with friends and family he stood there in the courtyard watching her, debating whether he should go up and speak to her. It had been 3 months since they had broken up and 2 months since they had last spoken. All he wanted was to go up to her and shake her and beg her not do this; not to give up on them. Instead he just stood there and watched as she posed for a picture with Blair. Her smile was bright and somehow things had gone back to the beginning. He was lonely boy again and Serena was the IT girl surrounded by her friends. If it hadn't been for the fact that their parents were dating it would be like the last two years had never happened._

"_Stop pouting Dan. You should be happy,"Jenny said as she tugged on his arm._

_"Where are you taking me?"_

"_Time for you to smile for the camera and be the dutiful son again,"she said._

_Dan sighed and followed his sister to where his parents stood. Rufus had his arm around lily and Alison stood next to them stiffly. Dan could only imagine how awkward the whole experience was for her._

"_There he is. My son the graduate, "Alison beamed as she hugged him. Dan hugged her back. He was happy that she was hear, but he felt disconnected to the woman who had raised him. In fact, he felt disconnected from everything lately. All he wanted to do was fast track through the next few months. At __college__, he could reinvent himself. All Dan wanted was a fresh start. Dan posed for pictures that he would probably never look at again and waited for this torture to come to an end. He was standing between Lily and his father when he saw her approaching them. His heart nearly stopped. She was beautiful and all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her._

"_There you are, Serena. Come on get in the picture, "Lily insisted._

_Serena smiled and stood next to her mother as Jenny took a picture of the foursome._

"_Jenny, give me the camera. Dan stand beside Serena. Time for a picture of the graduates," Rufus said. Dan could hardly believe this. How oblivious could one person be to the pain he caused. Wasn't it bad enough that he was the reason that he wasn't speaking to Serena?_

_They stood together with painfully awkward smiles on their faces. Dan knew this was his chance to say something, but every time he tried to open his mouth the words refuse to come. For the first time in his life he was speechless._

Nate sat on Eric's grey couch wringing his hands. He had no idea how to say what it was he wanted, no needed to say. He finally looked up at Eric. He didn't really know him and it was more than a little awkward for him to be coming to him with this info, but he really didn't know who else to go to.

"I know this will sound a little weird and you're probably wondering why I'm coming to you with this."

"What is it, Nate?"Eric asked softly.

"I think I might be gay."

"Wow! So, not what I was expecting,"Eric said.

"I'm sorry. I just didn't know who else to talk to. I'm just so confused."

Eric smiled and said, "you want some coffee because I need some coffee."

"Sure,"Nate said ad he smiled at him. He ran an errant hand through his hair and wondered how his life had shifted so quickly.

"So, why don't you start from the top and I promise not to judge you. I understand the turmoil you must be going through. I also remember how it felt when I had no say in my coming out. If you don't want to say anything thats fine. Take your time and don't worry I won't tell anybody about this. You can trust me Nate.

Serena was really starting to wear out her collection of dvds since Dan had re-entered her life. His words earlier that day were still haunting her. She knew she should have been honest with him, but everything seemed to just get out of control and it was easier for her to keep up the pretence. It wasn't her wisest decision, but Dan had this way of frying her brain and making logic and common sense fly out the window. She was trying so hard to keep a professional distance from him that she managed to create even more drama.

"But, he was still an asshole," she thought to herself. She just wanted to go back to her quiet ordered life that didn't include Dan Humphrey. Serena wanted him to leave her alone, even though a part of her sough him out and wondered if they could ever work again.

"Don't be stupid,"she chided herself.

"You know talking to yourself is never a good sign,"Casey said as he leaned in the doorway.

"Hey,"she said as she smiled up at him.

He walked over to her and joined her on her plush sofa. He picked up her legs, removed her shoes and held her feet in his lap. As he massaged her feet, he asked "So, how's lover boy?"

"He's not my lover." she said as she lay her head back on the cushions.

"But, he was and will be again. I saw the way you two were looking at each other. Not even your fake marriage could stop the sparks that lit up that room."

"Well, he knows now and lets just say he wasn't too happy," she muttered.

"So, he's a drama queen too. Obviously, you're a match made in heaven or hell. I haven't decided which one yet," he said as he teased her.

Casey debated asking her about Nate. He wasn't exactly somebody she talked about. She'd made a passing reference to him, but he didn't seem like someone she knew that well with the exception of fuzzy memories from her teen years. He made a face and saw her studying him.

"What's on your mind case?

"Nothing."

"Stop lying. I know that face. It's the I wanna ask her something but I don't know if I should look."

"You know me entirely too well. What do you know about Dan's friend Nate."

Serena knew that another one had fallen under Nate's spell, but he was barking up the wrong tree. "Oh hun. He's straight."

"Are you sure about that? Maybe he doesn't know he's gay yet. I mean once you go Casey you just don't go back."

Serena's eyes bugged out. No, this could not be happening. "Are you sayin what I think you're saying."

"Maybe, I am. Now get off me bitch and give me the remote," he said as he flashed her a smile.

Dan was sitting in his loft later that afternoon still licking his wounds from earlier that day and the fact that Serena had lied to him again. He didn't know why it was bothering him so much, but it felt as though an old wound had been ripped open like it was fresh. He'd even managed to avoid all of his calls and the flashing sign that indicated that there was a message waiting for him. But, eventually he pressed the button and was surprised to hear the voice on the other end.

"Hey slut, how's it going? I heard you dumped your latest victim. I'm coming to town next month. I thought I'd drop you a line. In case you've forgotten who I am among your parade of whores its Jill. Beep."

Dan smiled and deleted the message. He'd call her back later. It had been years since he'd last seen her even though she had a bad habit of annoying him with random messages every few months. A part of him still regretted not being able to give her what she so desperately wanted. He knew now more than ever that there was only one person who would have that part of him.

October 2011, New Haven

Dan was sitting in the courtyard in the middle of the Old campus trying to finish his readings for philosophy class when a tall redhead with shiny curls came bouncing up to him. Her hair was nearly as vibrant as her personality from what he could tell. She was in his English lit class and they'd chatted a few times. He really had no desire to get involved with anyone. A year later and he was still licking his wounds from his last breakup with Serena. He had no idea how to get over a heartbreak that affected him so thoroughly. He felt emotionally retarded. He no longer had any idea how to deal with the opposite sex.

"_Hey Humphrey. What are you reading?"_

_"Nietzche."_

"_How depressing. Do you ever do anything besides studying. You're whole emo boy act is really starting to get old."_

_"You barely know me Jill."_

"_Exactly. Get to it. Develop a personality, I know you know how to crack a joke or two."_

_"Are you always so forward."_

"_Yes."_

_"And you enjoy being pushy?"_

"_Like you enjoy being emo,"she quipped._

_"Okay, I had that one coming. What do you have in mind?" he asked as he put his book away._

"_Lets start with coffee and then you can pick me up tonight and take me to this kegger,"she said as she passed him a flyer._

_"Uh I don't do frat boy bullshit."_

"_Don't be a downer Dan. Time to live it up," she said._

_New Haven 2012_

_Jill was waiting for him in his dorm room. They'd been dating for nearly 6 months and she had snuck into his room to surprise him. She was setting the room up when she found the picture. It was still frame and was hidden in a door. She had a found it while she was looking for something to light a match with. He'd told her the sad tale about him and Serena and the minute she saw that picture she knew that had to be her. She was gorgeous and Jill hated her even more for this. So, she sat on his bed with tears rolling down her face when he came in._

"_Jill? What's wrong? Why are you crying?"he asked as he kneeled before her._

_She looked at him through tear-soaked eyes and flipped over the picture frame. It was a picture of him and Serena at the debutante ball. "Is this her?"she asked._

_Dan was like a deer caught in the headlights. He really was trying to move on with his life, but he was over taken by anger. She had been digging through his things._

"_What the fuck? Have you been looking through my things?"he asked sharply._

_"I was looking for, no don't you dare turn this around on me."_

"_Jesus Jill. You were looking through my shit. We're going out, we're not married. I mean what are you even doing here?"he asked feeling the walls closing in on him. He knew in that moment that he could not do what she needed, wanted him to do. She wanted reassurances that everything would be alright that Serena was simply a part of his past, but he couldn't lie to her._

"_Say something. Don't just stand their like a petrified idiot."_

_"I'm not afraid. I just, I don't know what you want me to say."_

"_Say something. Say you don't love her anymore. Say that you're over her. Say that I'm not wasting my fucking time. Tell me why you are stil have this stupid picture. She's always there. Atleast i can put a face to the name now,"she said in an angry diatribe._

_Dan just stood there stunned. He was unable to do what she asked. He couldn't do what she asked because the truth would hurt so much more than silence he chose not to say anything._

_Jill was seething. How was she supposed to compete with a girl he refused to let go of. She was like an enigma that haunted them both. Her anger was boiling to the surface and all she wanted to do was inflict pain._

"_Fuck you. Fuck her. Fuck you both,"she said as she threw the frame across the room._

_Dan was visibly stunned he bent down to pick up the shards of glasses and salvage what was left of his memories. He was seething. She had no right to try and destroy something that was his. She was saying something, but he couldn't hear her or he must have tuned her out minutes ago. Dan looked up at her silently and said, "Get out! Get out!"he screamed as he watched her storm out. He vowed in that moment that he'd never let anyone come close enough to destroy his memories ever again._


	7. Chapter 7

Author: Well we finally made it to chapter 7, but the journey continues. Even DS can only fight the force for so long. The coming chapters will be focused on their learning about each other and facing their past. You know what they say unless you learn from history you're bound to repeat it. I promise they will learn, please be patient. But, the emo is over and time for the love. My side plots of Nate/Casey and Carter/Blair will also be fleshed out in coming chapters. In the meantime enjoy the bowchickabowwa.

Chapter 7: Reignited Passions

Dan hated this. For four days, he had been incapable of thinking of anything but Serena. Its like she occupied every corner of his mind. He felt like he was being invaded. Everything seemed to remind him of her. A scent, a book, walking down the street, and even going to the park reminded him of her. For years, he had managed to cope without being bombarded with memories of her. He'd been able to block out all of those small moments that made them who they were, but lately it's all he thought of. He couldn't seem to get any work done because his mind kept drifting. Too much of this book was wrapped up in his relationship with Serena. No matter how much he tried to deny it, this was essentially their story. He sighed and closed his lap top. He obviously wasn't going to get any work done, so he put on a pair of sweats and went for a run. He'd gotten into the habit years ago. He would go for a good jog around the city to clear his head. Most people went to the park, but he preferred the hustle and bustle of the city streets and alley ways to the pristine walkways designed for joggers and other sports enthusiast. Jenny thought he was crazy for wanting to take on the frantic city streets, but he loved it. This city was his home and he could never imagine leaving it for good. Yale was good to him, but he missed the city and took every excuse to come back and breathe its stale air. It was a feeling that separated the true New Yorker from those that merely inhabited the city. He turned as he came across a group of construction workers digging hole in the middle of the street and took a side path which housed old brownhouses, but to Dan they weren't old, just classic. He had an appreciation for the history that this city had. He imagined the artists and writers that once inhabited these home. It was a little game he liked to play with himself. He created scenarios and stories of the struggles these peoples endured. He'd always been fascinated by people's stories. Everyone had one; whether rich or poor, man or woman, adult or child. Everyone had a story to tell and he was always picturing what strangers lives were like. Jenny accused him of living in a fantasyland in order to avoid his own reality, but he liked to think of it as simple curiosity

Dan turned back and made his way back home. When he got to his loft, he found her standing outside his door looking frazzled and a little impatient.

"Serena? What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk? Can I come in?"she asked tentatively. She still wasn't sure why she was here. One minute she was on her way to meet Blair, the next she found herself cancelling and standing in front of Dan's building. They way they had left things had been gnawing at her. As much as he may have been right, she didn't want to leave things that way. She felt this need to explain to clarify matters.

"Sure,"he said as he opened the door and led her inside. "Do you mind if I shower first because I sorta stink right now?"

"Sure, I'll just wait here."

Serena sat on his couch and flipped through the cover of the New Yorker that was lay on his coffee table. She flipped through the table of contents and noticed his name under short stories and decided to read it. She always loved his stories and editing his work was both a chore and a joy. By the time, she reached the end of the story she had tears in her eyes. It was about a young man who had been disillusioned by his mother. Serena knew him well enough to know that Dan was never one who simply made stories up, but rather drew from his own life. Alison was a subject that they rarely broached, but it was part of why she felt instantly connected to him. Serena was proud of her life and what she had built. She had very few regrets, the only thing that weighed on her mind was the fact that she had let him go, but apart felt like if he really wanted her he would have fought harder for her.

She looked up from the magazine she had been reading and saw him standing there in a pair of faded jeans and a green shirt. He was beautiful. Dan sat next to her awkwardly and smiled at her.

"So, you wanted to talk?"he asked.

"Yeah, I didn't like the way we left things. I wanted to explain."

"You don't owe me anything. You're my editor. That's it. I was foolish enough to think that we could be friends, but I was wrong."

"why can't we?"

Dan was starting to lose to feel slightly uncomfortable. Her mere presence was unsettling to him. His attraction to her had not dimmed over the years. She still got him going like no one else.

"Let's be real, Serena. We were never very good at being friends, plus too much time has passed. I don't even know who you are anymore, "he said with an exasperated sigh.

Serena didn't know why she wanted this or even what she was doing, but she needed to have him in her life. She wanted them to be more than just editor/writer, she wanted them to be friends. "I'm still me Dan. There was a time when you were the only person that got me and I miss that. I know I should have just told you the truth, but I was scared. You made an assumption and I was too afraid to clear it up,"she said.

"Oh I see. Serena, I don't know. I don't know if we can be friends. I mean its awkward enough just working together."

"So, you're just going to give up? Just like that. I should have known,"Serena said as she got up to leave. Dan followed her to the door and grabbed her hand.

"what's that supposed to mean? What exactly are you excusing me of?"he said with more than a hint of anger in his voice.

"I'm just calling it like I see it. You're a coward,"she said. The moment the words slipped from her mouth she wished she could take them out, but now it was out there. A part of her still resented him for not trying harder for not fighting her fear. She wanted no needed him to break down her walls, but he just wouldn't do it.

"Who the fuck do you think you are? A coward? Where the hell is this coming from Serena? You don't know anything about my fears heck you don't even know who I am anymore? Maybe you knew the little boy who would do anything for you, but he's dead. That Dan doesn't exist anymore. So, don't come marching in here acting like you even k now me, "he said with a barely restrained anger.

Serena looked right through him and wondered when he had become this imbittered man that stood before her, "You're right. I don't know you. The Dan I knew was never this bitter shell of a human being."

"Fuck you. I am bitter. I'm very bitter because of you I can't hold down a normal relationship because everytime I come close I'm reminded of you. You're always there in the back of my mind, in my dreams haunting me like a tall blonde monster. You're my boogie man,"he said harshly.

Serena was raging. How dare he? He was blaming her for his failed relationships. She swung her hand bag over and over again, "I hate you. Damn you. Don't you ever blame me for your manwhoring you stupid jackass. I have nothing to do with the fact that you can't keep your dick in your pants."

Dan was confused, angry, and strangely aroused by her fierce need to beat him. He grabbed her wrists and said, "stop it."

"No, not until you take it back,"she demanded.

"I won't because its the truth,"he said before pushing her up against the wall and kissing her. He kissed her with such force and passion that she instantly reacted. It was like a fire had been ignited. A small spark had built to a raging fire within minutes. His mouth was devouring hers and he had her pinned against the steel door. She grabbed the material of his shirt and tore it.

Dan stopped his assault on her mouth when he noticed that she'd manage to tear his shirt in one fell swoop. "You wanna play rough, don't you?"he said. He was still angry and he found himself dragging her jacket from her shoulders and ripping off her blouse popping the buttons in the process. He pulled her closer and led her back into the living room. He leaned on the edge of his couch and pulled Serena's skirt up and ripped her panties with his hand. His touch had her going crazy. She was a frenzy. She usually liked to have sex a little less frantically and with more gentleness but all she wanted was to get her hands all over him. Her nails dug into his back as he used his index finger to massage her core.

Neither of them said a word, they let their bodies do the talking instead. She clung to him her body responding to his machinations while her mind raged and questioned whether this was the wisest thing to do. Soon he had her bent over the couch as he entered her from behind. His grunts matched her moans and in the recess of her mind she knew this was right, she knew that her body was made to fit his. She had forgotten what a skilled lover he was.

Later she stood in the middle of his loft with nothing but her bra and skirt on.

"That was unexpected, "she said as he searched for his pants and something to say to her. He had never done anything like that before. He was rough with her and he knew it and now he felt like a complete shit head.

"Uh, I don't know what to say."

"Just give me a shirt and we forget the rest, but you owe me a shirt and a pair of panties, "she said before she left him in the middle of his apartment to contemplate what they'd both done.

"You did what?"Blair asked Serena as they looked through the racks at Bergdorfs.

"I had sex with Dan."

"What? Doesn't he think you're married, "Blair inquired as she pulled out a dress and held it against her small frame.

"No, he knows the truth."

"Well are you going to fill me in or are you just going to drop the S-bomb and pretend like you never said anything."

"I wanted to explain. I was hoping we could be friends."

"Well how's that working out for you?"Blair said as she laughed. She didn't understand these two. It was obvious that neither of them would ever be over the other. She just didn't know why they were still playing this stupid game."

"It was sort of unexpected and thats all you're getting out of me."

"Uh, I don't want details. I just meant how did you guys go from talking to fucking. Thats a record even for you guys."

"We got in a fight."

"Okay, I've heard enough of the DanSerena saga to last me a lifetime. Now, lets shop. Shopping is serious business S."

"What's the occasion?"

"I have a Charity ball to organize for next month,"Blair said.

"So, how's Carter anyhow. I hope you're keeping an eye on your heart with that one, B."

"Pot meet kettle,"she said.

Dan and Serena were having trouble sticking to their agreement to never speak of it again. He arrived at her apartment a week later with two boxes.

"What's this?"

"I believe I owe you some articles of clothing,"he said as he winked at her playfully.

Serena opened the first box and found a nice silk blouse that resembled the one he had torn. She took out the small box and took out a pair of panties that seemed to be scented. She held it up to her nose and said, "edible panties? Really Dan?"

"Strawberries. You know how much I love that flavour,"he said.

"So, this is a present for you? What makes you think you'll get that chance again?"

"I don't, but I thought I'd give it my best shot."

Serena scrunched her nose as she debated his overture. Did she really want to get involved with him again. It had been years and she was bound to get hurt again and if it went wrong it could affect their working relationship.

"We work together."

"Exactly, Serena."

"This is stupid."

"Why?"he asked.

"We've been down this road."

"Not for ten years."

"I'm not ready for another relationship."

"Baby steps, neither am I. All I know is that I miss you and I need you,"he said. He pleaded his case with a soft kiss which made it nearly impossible to resist.

"You play dirty."

"I play to win,"he said.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: I know this is short, but its sort of a filler chapter that sets things up for later.

**Chapter 8: Take it slow**

Dan sat on her couch looking at her earnestly. He'd said his piece and was waiting for a sign any sign that she was ready to take a risk on him; on them. He leaned in closer and tucked a stray hair behind her ear and said, "Don't make me beg, S."

She smiled lightly, "You don't have to its just…"

"Overwhelming, scary. I know. But, I also know that I miss you and we'd be stupid not to give this one last try."

She closed her eyes and let his words wash over her. She didn't know why she was so afraid. Wasn't this what she had been waiting for? For ten years all she'd ever wanted was for him to come and tell her he wanted her again. But, was it too late. Had her heart really moved on from him. No, it hadn't, but something stopped her from jumping gleefully into his arms.

"Obviously you need more time to let this sick in," he said as he got up to go. Serena reached out and grabbed his hand, "don't go," she implored him. Dan stood frozen in place as she motioned for him to join her on the couch. He did as she asked and looked around the room reluctantly. He didn't know what to make of her simple request, but he knew he'd walk over hot coals if she asked him too. Serena patted the spot next to her and asked him to sit.

"This is awkward."

"It doesn't have to be. I just, I need you to understand that this isn't a no. It's a not now. It's been years, Dan."

"I know, I just….I miss you," he said frankly. Serena smiled and laid her head on his shoulder.

"I missed you too," she said as she held his hand in hers.

Nate dug his hands deep into his pockets as he paced the sidewalk outside of Casey's apartment building. It had been two weeks since their night together and he'd been unable to stop thinking about him. He'd never felt as comfortable as he had with Casey. There was something sweet about him. But, this whole discovering your sexuality thing was just so new and bizarre to him. He had no problem with homosexuality, but he never thought that was his thing. Was this just phase? Did he simply have a curiosity to experiment and try something he'd never tried before or was he really gay? Did he even like girls? Nate had so many questions and he didn't know if talking to Casey was fair. But, he knew that he had enjoyed his company. So, he sucked in a breath and climbed the stairs and opened the door before pressing the button.

"Hey, its Nate. Can I come up?"

"Nate? Come on up," he said as he buzzed him up. He was having a lazy Sunday lounging around reading the style section of the NY Times. He checked his reflection in the hall mirror before opening the door to Nate. He was once again blown away by exactly how beautiful Nate was. He was more than a little bit surprised to see him. He had chocked him up to another one night stand.

"Come in."

Nate smiled at him and took a seat on an old chaise that was in the corner of the room. Now that he was here he had no idea what to say. He looked up at Casey and his heartbeat started to speed up.

"Okay so you definitely want him," he said to himself.

"So, what's up?"Casey asked. He wasn't much for patience or playing a game of lets stare at each other awkwardly while we avoid the real issue.

"I wanted to apologize about leaving the way I did. I guess. Well, I've never done anything like that before,"he said.

"What had sex or had sex with a man?"he said playfully.

Nate blushed and said, "I guess I had that one coming."

"Look, its okay. We all have one night stands. No need to feel guilty. These things happen."

"What if it was more than that,"Nate asked?

Casey looked at him sincerely trying to assess what he was suggesting. Nate felt like he had no control over his words. He just started to say all these things, but none of it was premeditated. Before he realize what he'd done he was standing in the middle of Casey's bedroom kissing him passionately as he pushed him on to the bed. It didn't feel weird or awkward, but it just felt right.

Blair sat at her boudoir brushing her long brown tresses when a familiar figure came up and nuzzled her neck. She leaned into him as she smiled brightly. For the first time in a long time she felt content, but she wasn't going to let Carter know that. Life had taught her a girl could not afford to reveal all her cards to early. It was a lesson she received courtesy of one Chuck Bass, but that was years ago. But, ten years later he was nothing but a dim memory that she hoped to keep in her past.

"Carter, I'll be there in a moment."

"I like you mussed. Plus its only going to get messed up when I'm through with you,"he said with a mischievous grin on his face.

"And what exactly do you have planned Mr. Baizen."

"You'll have to wait and see Mrs. Baizen."

Carter led her to bed and she let him lift her as he placed her gently on the luxurious sheets. They had gotten married a few hours ago on a whim. This was not something Blair Waldorf did and it certainly wasn't something she'd ever imagine that Carter would do, but her head was still swimming from the champagne. She looked up at him and said, "Are we crazy?"

"A little, but I things crazy," he said as he kissed her softly. Blair grabbed him by his collars and pulled him closer aggressively. She flipped over and straddled him as she slowly undid one button after the other. Finally she managed to slip the material from his shoulders.

"That's more like it,"Blair said.

"Someone's an eager beaver tonight."

Blair got off of him and headed back towards the boudoir when she felt a hand on her. Carter pulled her back towards him and said, "no more games, B."

"What games?"

"Stop, I know what you're doing. I'm the master. I practically invented the game. Obviously something more than sex is building between us or we wouldn't have done what we just said."

"What do you mean, I get married on the whim all the time,"she said sarcastically.

He wrapped his arms around her, "We can go back to the games later. Let's be real for a second. What do we do?"

Blair looked at him and knew her heart was in serious danger of being lost. She had no idea what they were going to do. She managed to marry her boyfriend of two months without much consideration for the consequences. It just wasn't very her and she hated that loss of control.

"Carter, not tonight. We can deal with this in the morning," she said.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter9: I'll be there**

Dan was in his junior year of college when his first love became his stepsister. He never went to the wedding. It was just something he couldn't bring himself to do. He could not playthe happy son as he watched his father tie himself to the woman he had chosen over him. Some might think he was crazy to think of it in those terms, but to Dan his father had chosen his future bride over him. So, with that simple act of self-indulgence on Rufus's part, his days as the dutiful son had come to an end. Jenny had accused of him of being selfish and petulant, but there was so much she didn't understand. On the eve of his graduation, Rufus had become Lily's fifth ex-husband, but things between father and son would never be the same. In six years, Dan had seen his father a sum total of 6 times. Six Christmas's nothing more. So, the unexpected phone call he had come home to on a Sunday evening shook him a little. He thought he sensed a trace of tears in his strangled voice.

"Dan, I know you don't want to talk, but please call me back. You're my son. We're blood this, this is ridiculous."

Dan pressed the delete button and kicked off his shoes attempting no to think about the pain he heard in his fathers voice.

_Who is this embittered man? This is not the Dan that I know_

Serena's words rung in his ears. It was a shrill sound he couldn't block from his mind. A part of him knew that she was right. Something in him had changed; hardened. But, could speaking to his father really change that. Earlier he had simply held her as they watched a movie and pretended to be friends, but a whole lot more. If time is what Serena wanted, time is what he would give her. Dan stared at his phone and picked it up.

"He called?"

"Who called?"Serena asked.

"My father."

"I'm a little confused. Why is that such a big deal?"she inquired.

Dan cleared his throat and said, "Because we haven't really spoken since last Christmas. In fact it's the only time we do speak."

Serena was completely taken aback. One of the things she appreciated about Dan was the bond he had with his family. When had things gone so wrong with Dan and his father.

"I'm sorry Dan."

"I'm not sure if I should call him back."

"Call him Dan. You want to. That's why you called me. Its obviously something you want to do and we can talk about it later, "she said before hanging up. He met his father at the gallery. He took a seat in the small café where he'd worked many a weekend. The place was the same yet the last time he'd been here was on the eve of his twentieth birthday. He wrung his hands as he waited for his father to walk through the doors. A young woman was manning the cash and looking over at him anxiously. He remembered the nerves and awkwardness that was his signature as a teen and a small part of his heart went out to this girl. The sound of the bell dragged him from his thoughts. His father stood before him looking a little aged, but still retaining his youthful vigor. His hair was no speckled with grey and he'd gain a bit of weight mostly in his face. "You came, "he said as he smiled brightly.

"Yes, but don't get your hopes up dad, "Dan warned him.

"I don't understand this. Can't we just go back."

Dan grimaced at his father and said, "go back to what? You made your choice. You picked a woman over your own kid. Too bad she wasn't worth it. I don't know why I'm even here. This was a mistake."

"Why did you come?"

Dan looked at his father sadly, "Because I missed you Dad. But, you obviously don't get it. You didn't get it then and you don't get it now."

He got up to leave and Rufus grabbed him by the shoulders. "I get it Dan. I just can't take it back. I wish I could. But, you're my son and I'm sorry that I made you feel less important. I just want to start over, "he pleaded. Dan looked at Rufus as if he was appraising him. He didn't know whether he should take him at his word, but he knew he owed it to himself. "Let's start with a coffee, but I'm not making any promises dad."

**One Week Later**

Dan and Serena were walking through the park together. He was rehashing his last meeting with his father. It felt good to have someone who really understood where he was coming from. He didn't need to explain why things were so weird between his father and himself because she was there. She had lived through it too. There was simplicity to being with Serena that he'd nearly forgotten about. He wrapped an arm around her and held her close to him.

"You're the greatest,"he said matterfactly.

"I try. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm getting there. Thanks for letting me vent. I bet you're hungry how about some breakfast?"he said.

"Sure. I'm starving,"she said with a bright smile on her face. They'd been spending a lot of time together in the past week. When they weren't talking on the phone, Dan was coming over with a pizza in hand. He'd had a couple of uncomfortable run-ins with Casey who simply sat in her living room puffing up his chest and pouting. He was acting like a jealous boyfriend who had been replaced by someone new. But, Serena knew he wasn't used to playing second-best to Dan. For the longest time, Casey was the only man in her life, but before him there had always been Dan. At one point in her life he had been everything to her. She loved where they were, but there were moments when all she wanted to do was to push him up against a wall and kiss him senselessly.

They made their way to a small café where they each ordered enough to feed a small army. Dan smiled when he noticed that some things never changed like Serena's appetite. They ate in comfortable silence and Dan kept stealing glances at her the entire time. The streak in her blonde hair was beginning to fade and her hair was beginning to grow out. She held it back in a sleek ponytail. They'd spent the morning talking amicably each of them avoiding the obvious, but he was damned if he was going to be the first to bring it up.

"Mmm the food here is so good,"Serena said in between bites. She took a chunk of her omlette and fed it to him. There eyes connected and then they abruptly looked away. Serena instantly sensed the look of hunger on his face and she knew he wasn't thinking about the eggs she had just fed him. The electricity between them was palpable. They were both playing at a game whose resolution was obvious.

"What do you mean you just got married?"Serena asked as she starred at the rock on Blair's finger.

"I got married. It wasn't planned. Anyways I haven't decided whether to get the whole thing annulled or not.

"Wait you wanna get a divorce? Blair have you gone off the deep-end? This is so unlike you,"Serena pondered.

Blair shrugged and said, "maybe I need to not be myself for awhile."

"But, marriage. That's so serious."

"I know its crazy, but I like the way Carter makes me feel."

"You like feeling completely out of control and on edge?"Serena inquired.

"Yes, yes I do. I'm so sick of having to worry about every little thing S. He makes me feel like being me can be fun"

"I'm happy for you B. I just hope you know what you're getting yourself into. Now, let me get a look at the rock again."

Serena hugged her tightly. Blair was the one constant in her life. Things had not always run smoothly and at times they had a habit of doing the cruelest of things to each other, but at the end of the day they were there for each other. "So, tell me why you look so sad. Is it Humphrey again?"

"You know me so well."

"Should I dig up my Constance uniform because this feels so 2009."

"Ha ha, its not that bad. I guess I never realized how much we changed. He's not the Dan I knew. He's I don't know melancholy."

"Listen S, you know I love you. But, I've seen him around for years and he hasn't been happy for a long long time. Losing you did something to him. I might not know him very well, but even I could sense that."

"I know its just that."

"He's a male slut Serena, we all know that there's only been one person for him. Its not like you've been living the life of a nun either."

"I guess so. He wants to get back together,"Serena stated matterfactly.

"well, well. Humphrey finally bought himself a pair I see. I thought it would take him atleast another a year before he made a moment."

Serena rolled her eyes and said, "can you stop being snarky for five minutes and help me out here."

"I can't tell you what to do, but ask yourself what are you so afraid of?"


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's note:** Yes, I've updated again. Don't count on this being trend. Don't worry Casey and Dan will work it out.

**Chapter 10: Delicate**

_**It's not that we're scared its just that its delicate.**_

_**~Damien Rice**_

Serena sat at her desk with its barnished wood and curved edges and smiled softly to herself. For the first time in months, she was able to enjoy her new job and the fact that she had done this all on her own. She picked opened the drawer and took out the picture of Dan and heself from years ago. She touched the silver frame with her fingers and placed it on her desk. For weeks they'd been circling around what they were and just it had weeks earlier, Blair's words rang in her ears.

_Ask yourself what you are so afraid of?_

She still had no concrete answer to her friends well timed question. All she knew was that having Dan in her life made everything seem better. He'd re-established his position as her closest confidante which had left a little awkwardness between Casey and herself, but she reassured him that nothing could alter the bond, but deep down Serena knew that Casey understood. It felt like they were already together. He was the first thing she thought of when she woke up and the last thing on her mind before she nodded off. They took walks in the park, went shopping in the village, and had dinner at least 3 times a week. Dan was fully a part of her life now, both professionally and personally, but everytime their eyes locked and they got close to crossing that boundary again something held her back. She didn't know what it was, but all she knew was that she loved where they were. Serena stared at that picture and remembered the feeling of joy that filled her heart when he had come to fight for her, for him.

"But, that was his thing,"she thought to herself. Dan always seemed to want to do whatever it would take to keep her, to have her.

Her assistant came in and stood before her. She picked up the picture and eyed it curiously.

"Isn't that Mr. Humphrey? I didn't know you guys used to go out."the young woman asked.

Serena smiled and said, "Yes we did, but that was a long time ago."

"You look so happy in that picture what happened?"

"it's a long story. Is there something you needed?"

"I wanted to let you know that the VP wants the final chapters of Mr. Humphrey's book by the end of the month."

"Thank you. Tell her I'll take care of it, "Serena said.

The young woman stood there with her arms across her chest and a perplexed look on her face. "I don't mean to be rude, but you're stupid if you let him get away again. I can tell you really like him. I mean you have that old picture of you guys on your desk. Its sort of random if you ask me."

Serena said nothing. She went back to the papers she had been going over and attempted to ignore the girl's unsolicited advice. She was voicing what was evidently a very popular sentiment. She knew they were right. What the hell was she waiting for? Dan had made his move now it was her turn. The proverbial ball was in her court.

"Hannah, hold all my calls. Scratch that tell them I'll be back in the morning."

"What's going on?"

'I'm being smart Hannah just like you said."

Serena grabbed her purse and rushed out of the building and hailed a cab. She nervously wrung her hands as she waited for the cab to get to her destination. For ten years she lived in perpetual misery, no more. She was finally going to stop letting life happen to her and just grab her forever. She knew they had both made their share of mistakes, but for once their was nothing getting in their way.

_**I may have failed but I've loved you from the start. Hold your both because tonight will be the night I will fall for you all over again. Breathe me in, comes I'm yours to keep.**_

_**~Secondhand Serenade**_

Dan had just gotten out of the shower and was getting ready to do some work when he heard the incessant knocking on his door. It was the middle of the afternoon and he had no idea who it could be. He opened the door and found a slightly panic-stricken Serena standing before him. She grabbed his face and kissed him feverishly nearly knocking the wind out of him in the process.

"What's going on?"he asked as she peppered his face with kisses. He smiled as he held her to him.

"Not that I mind being acosted by your lips, but maybe you should come inside,"he said as he tried to suppress his laughter.

He guided her inside and closed the door. Serena let her bag drop to the floor and started to kiss him again. She attempted to pull up his tshirt, but Dan resisted. "Okay, you know I love the idea of lunchtime romp, but I thought you said you wanted to take things slowly."

"I think ten years is slow enough,"she said before plying him with kisses again. Dan's skin was flushed and the feel of her hands all over him was driving her wild, but he had to know where this was coming from.

"Serena stop. We need to talk first,"he said.

She held his face in her hands and kissed him gently. She missed this. She missed how he felt. "I love you,"she said.

Dan felt like he had been struck. His knees could barely support his weight. Those three words and how easily came floating from her lips was enough to destabilize him. "I need to sit down."

"I always have Dan. I never stopped. I was stopped. We were stupid. Ten years haven't changed a damn thing and I know you feel the same. I guess I was just so scared to go their again to let myself feel this again, "she said.

Dan held out his hand and said, "Come here."

He held her tightly taking in her sweet scent and said, "I love you too. I'm scared too. I don't want us to mess this up again."

"We won't because we know what its like not to be in each others lives."

"I never want to know what that's like ever again," he murmured into her hair.

He held his hand in hers and led her to his bedroom. The bed was still unmade and his clothes were scattered on the floor, but he didn't care. He looked her in the eyes and gently removed her blazer and let it drop to the floor. Dan bent his head and kissed the spot between her neck and her collarbone which elicited a gentle moan from her lips. He tugged her blouse from her skirt and undid the buttons one at a time. Serena stood there motionless staring at him, totally caught up in the magic of the moment. Eventually she reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it off of him. He was beautiful. The years had been generous to him. He was still slender, but his muscles were more refined.

"you're beautiful,"Dan muttered as he peeled the blouse from her shoulders. Serena started to work eagerly at his belt buckle, but he stopped her and said, "take it easy, we have all the time in the world."

Serena smiled and said, "we have forever."

He removed her skirt and picked her up and placed her on the bed. She looked up at him eagerly as he loosened her stalking from her garterbelt. "God, you're killing me with this get up."

"Its just a garter dan."

"its fucking sexy."

She started to laugh that laugh he loved so dearly. He made quick work of her stalking and soon her panties had joined the rest of her clothing. Dan spread her legs and used his tongue to elicit the sweetest moans from her lips. He loved to hear the sound of his name on her lips, but above all he loved to bring her joy. She was his first lover and only love. Soon she was wriggling between his touch begging him to put her out of her misery.

"Now Dan,"she begged.

"shh, patience."

Dan stripped off the rest of his clothes and positioned his body above her. There eyes never strayed from each other as he entered her in one fell swoop. Soon they were moving in unison, matching each other thrust for thrust, moan for moan. Dan moved the hair from her face and smiled. This was how it was meant to be. For the first time in years he felt complete.

_**I want to know what love is I know you can show me**_

Nate Archibald was happy. He was content for the first time in ages. He'd spent so many years drifting from relationship to relationship searching for that feeling, eventually he'd stopped looking. It was elusive and something he was convinced that wasn't meant to be a part of his journey. But, in a little over a month, he'd managed to find love. Love was all that he'd ever wanted and sought. Either he never felt it for that person or it was never returned. He once believed Blair was his one true love, but they could never seem to get their act together and there always seemed to be something in the way. From his relationship with Vanessa, to her relationship with Chuck. Nate felt love for her, but he knew now that he wasn't in love with her or atleast not anymore.

"What are you thinking,"Casey asked?

"I'm thinking that this feels so right,"Nate said.

Casey put his paper down and kissed Nate on the cheek. Casey had branded himself single for life ages ago, but there was something about Nate that made him want to settle down. He felt at ease with him and he had this way of quenching his every desire. With Nate in his life, he had no desire to go and seek out sexual satisfaction in the arms of another which what he normally did. Two weeks usually marked the point when he became bored with whomever he was dating and wanted to simply move on. But, it had been a month and he had no desire to run.

'So, I really think we should tell Serena."

Nate felt a bit apprehensive at the idea of her knowing. She would probably think it was nothing short of a joke, but she probably already knew since she'd told Dan. The two of them were practically attached at the hip lately. "She probably already knows."

"What do you mean?"

"I told Dan a little while ago and they've been really close lately."

"Oh him again,"Casey said with frown.

"Do you not like him?"Nate asked. The last thing he needed was for Casey to hate his bestfriend.

"No, no that's not it. I just, I guess he's always around and I'm not used to it."

"Is this about Serena?"

"Yeah, we never hang out anymore cause she's always with him,"Casey said with a pout."

Nate hugged him and said, "don't worry Dan. He's a cool guy. They're just in love. Always have been. You just need to get to know him is all."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Casey he's my bestfriend and if this is going to work, you're going to have to figure out a way to get over your issues with him."


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note:** I thought you all could use some good old smut. The rest of the chapters will be focused on polishing up the book, DS helping each other with family issues, and establishing my other 2 couples. We're looking at another 4-6 chapters people. That's a rough estimate. I'd like to give a special shout-out to Mich, Diane, Lauren, Dana, Hannah, B, Brianna and the rest of my ds girls. You all inspire me to write.

_**Chapter 11: Bliss**_

Bliss; there was no other way to describe Serena's mood. She stretched like a cat and turned to face the person responsible for this feeling. He was still asleep and his hair was mussed and he wore the smallest of smiles has he slept. She scooted closer to him and gently blew air in his face before giggling.

"Stop it,"he said groggily.

"Well that didn't take much effort."

"I wasn't completely asleep. Just too lazy to open my eyes,"he said as he smiled and leaned over and kissed her gently. "Good morning."

Serena took his face in her hands and kissed him. The taste of his lips was something she simply couldn't get enough. "It certainly is. You know this is a milestone."

"This is our first morning together where we don't have to worry about rushing home before our parents wake up, "he said sarcastically.

Serena giggled and said, "well considering that we're adults, I'd be a little concerned if that was the case."

"It's a good thing I'm not a mama's boy then," he said as he kissed her shoulder. Dan felt like a weight had been lifted from his soul. He felt free for the first time in ages. The one thing he had wanted, no needed, had finally happened to him. He got Serena back. It was like the dark cloud that had been following him around had suddenly disappeared and his world was suddenly filled with hope and joy.

"I love it when you smile. You never seem to do that much,"she said as she rolled on top of him. His body automatically reacted to the renewed physical contact. The feel of her naked flesh on his made him ignite and soon he was devouring her lips as his hands roamed every inch of her skin. There were certain things not even time had altered like the silky feel of her skin and the cinch of her waist and the small birth mark on her left hip. Her breasts were still full and her blond hair was still golden, but it had a tinge of red that gave her an extra flash of sexiness.

"You're beautiful, "he said in between kisses. "absolutely gorgeous. I must be dreaming. This has to be dream."

Serena laughed that laugh that was her signature and one of the things he loved most about her as he held her tightly to him. She loved hearing those words from him. It made her feel like she could take on the world. She caressed his face and admitted the defined jawline which used to drive her to distraction when he was annoyed. His features ahd matured and he'd lost a little bit of flesh that was the signature of youth. But, it was still the same crystal brown eyes staring back at him. He'd simply gone from boy to man and she had missed that process. They'd both missed so much, but Serena refused to dwell on the past. They had a future to look forward to. She kissed the base of his neck and worked her way down his chest till she reached his hip bone. She could feel him sucking in a breath as she got closer to her destination. She used her fingers to caress his already erect shaft before taking him into her mouth and using her tongue to drive him ever more slightly over the edge. Dan bucked his hips which urged her on and she began to increase the spead of her suction as she used her hand to massage his balls.

"Serena, I'm going to come."

She simply nodded her head and allowed him his release. She licked the remains from her lips and kissed on the lips.

The look of sheer awe and disbelief on his face made her smile. "Don't act so shocked,"she said

"But usually you don't…"he said.

"Don't get used to it,"she said as she lay beside him, her arms behind her neck.

"Now, that's what I call a good morning," he said. But, he wasn't about to leave her unsatisfied so he wrapped an arm around her and used his fingers to massage her as they talked about all the time that had past, but Serena could barely concentrate on what he was saying because his fingers were slowly driving him to distraction. They created a heat in her that made her want to scream out in frustration. It was like getting a taste of something and being denied the full range of pleasure.

"You're a cruel man Dan,"she said a she moaned slightly.

"What?"

"Either take care of this properly or remove your hand now"

"Your wish is my command,"he said playfully. Dan removed his hands and lowered himself so that his head was right between her legs. He used his tongue to tease the very spot his fingers and been exploring earlier. She was wet which stroked his ego just a little bit. He loved knowing that he drover half as crazy as she drove him. His tongue ran circles around her core as Serena fidgeted and moved like a fereal cat that had just been released from her cage. He dipped one finger inside of her then another. He watched her and gloried in her every movement. There was something so beautiful and ethereal about her when she was caught up in the throes of passion. It took his breath away.

"I want you inside, Dan. Please."

"With pleasure, "he said as he removed his fingers and slowly slid inside of her. They locked eyes and her rapid movements and stilled a bit. Serena wrapped her legs around his waist and held him tightly to her. She wanted to feel as much of him as she could feel. Dan brushed her hair from her face that had become plaited down by sweat. He kissed her as they established a rhythm. There was something thrilling yet peaceful about making love to her. He felt at ease. There was no rush to reach the finish line, but rather he gloried in the feel of her and wanted to extend this pleasure for as long as he possibly could.

"I love you,"he whispered in her ear as he sped up the rhythm of their love making. Soon they were both spent and clung to each other.

Dan reached for the blanket and covered them both up as he held her. She had already nodded off and he could feel the fatigue slowly coming over him. He was in a state that one could describe his heavenly. It was Bliss.

Dan and Serena spent the remainder of the day in bed. They simply couldn't get enough of each other. They were both so happy to have the other in each others life that they wanted to make up for every second not spent together. They were wrapped up on his couch watching an old Black and white movie when Jenny let herself in.

"Oh, I didn't. I should go,"she said.

"Don't go Jenny,"Serena said. She beckoned her to join them as Dan gave her look that said please go.

"If you're sure. Um, when did" she pointed to Serena and then Dan animatedly "happen."

"Today."

"Wow, I so need to go and um leave you alone,"she said. She left her key on the table by the door on her way out the door.

They looked at each other and said, "do you think this is how everyone will react?"

"I hope not,"Dan said jokingly.

She leaned back against him and said, "this is nice."

"It is. I miss this."

"I did too,"she said. A part of her wanted to talk about his litter of girls, but she didn't want to break the trance they were both in. Its not like that it mattered, she just hadn't pictured him to be that kind of guy; the kind who went through women like tissue paper. But, the guy she saw before her was not that guy. He was simply Dan; the kind soul that had to help heal a broken young girl. She probably wouldn't be who she was if it wasn't for him. He helped her believe in herself.

"What's wrong?"Dan said. He knew that she was obsessing over something and that it was bothering her.

"Its nothing really. Its stupid."

'Tell me,"he asked softly.

"I just. I know we were apart a long time and that you were bound to have other relationships, but why so many?"

Dan knew that this would come up eventually. It wasn't something he was particularly proud of, but rather it had become a shield to protect himself from the pain.

"I don't know. I guess I was lost for a very long time. They weren't really relationships. None of them meant anything. Its just that not having you in my life it hurt. So, I guess it was a way to not think about it."

Serena nodded and kissed him on the cheek. She knew exactly what he was talking about. It had been her routine for years, but she turned to more than sex in her time. "I understand. Thanks for telling me. I know, I know its really not any of my business."

"Please don't feel the need to reciprocate. I really don't think I could handle knowing which is why I didn't want to say anything. But, we were apart a long time. So we both have a past now. So lets just leave it there," he said as he wrapped both his arms about her. She laid her head back and he kissed the top of her head.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Love is a battlefield**

Jenny Humphrey was 26 year old and she had one stable relationship to her name. She'd never gotten over him yet he was still in her life. Jenny took out an old shoebox of memories and stared at the picture of her and Nate. They had broken up 6 years ago. She was still in design school and he had just broken up with Blair for what seemed like the umpteenth time. Jenny had been in love with him since she was fourteen years old. She knew the minute she set eyes on him that he was who she was meant to be with. Not unlike her brother who'd met his one and only at the same age, but unlike her brother fate had not been so kind to her. Atleast he had known what it was like to be loved by that one person. Jenny had Nate physically, but she felt like he was always emotionally disconnected from her. If only he could have drifted away and become just another an ex, but she was fated to be stuck with him especially since he was best friends with her brother. The other day she had gone over to Dan's to talk when he saw him cuddled up with Serena like the past ten years had not happened at all and somehow that had reopened old wounds. Why was it that he got his dream girl and her dream was so far from reach? Jenny put away the box of despair as Dan had dubbed it and put it back in her closet. Jenny Humphrey was not a wallower, she'd move on or at least that's what she had people believe. Her buzzer went off and a frantic Nate asked to be buzzed up.

"Nate what are you doing here?"

"I need your help."

"With what?"she asked.

"It's your brother or should I say Casey and your brother."

"What's going on?"she asked with concern. She had no idea why Nate was so concerned with the strange tension between her brother and his girlfriends bestfriend.

Nate looked down at his feet and realized that he hadn't told her. She had no idea and he'd hurt her enough the last thing he needed was to add to the list of hurt he'd administered to her. "this was a bad idea"

"Spill it Archibald."

"I, I, I'm seeing Casey."

Jenny tried to hide the shock. She wasn't homophobic not at all, but this was something that she had not expected and it seared through her like he had just placed a knife through her heart. "I need to sit down and you need to start from the beginning."

Jenny sat there and listened to him to talk about his confusion and how things just felt right with Casey and about Casey's jealousy over Dan. Part of her was numb as she listened to him to speak. Maybe this was for the best, maybe now she could finally let him go.

"Jen did you hear my question?"

"What, what question?"

"What should I do about Casey and Dan."

"Let me talk to Dan. They just need to hangout get rid of the tension."

Nate smiled at her and hugged her tightly. She clung to him as if she was finally saying goodbye to an old lover. When he left she collapsed in a heap on the floor. The pain was still there and so was the love, but atleast she could finally let go of the hope.

Blair stood with her hands placed daintly on her lap as she faced the judge. Carter was sitting to her right. He was being completely uncooperative and all she wanted to do was stick a knife in his gut. It was bad enough they had made this mistake.

"so, let me get this straight. You got married and consummated this marriage, but it wasn't under duress."

"It was your honor. Emotional duress."

"Could you clarify."

"He emotionally manipulated me. He plied me with compliments thus placing me in a vulnerable position."

The judge frowned and said, "let me get this straight you want an annulment on the grounds that he was kind to you and you view that as manipulation. Ms. Waldorf I suggest you hire a lawyer and stop wasting my time. If you want out of this marriage you'll have to get to agree to a divorce."

"A divorce. No, I will not be a divorcee."

"Then I suggest you relax and enjoy being a newlywood. Now please leave my office."

Carter and Blair stood outside the judges chamber. She was seething and Carter had a smile like a Cheshire Cat. "You did this on purpose."

"maybe. You're beautiful when you're angry."

"You're insane."

He watched as she stomped off. Being married to her was going to be entertaining and Carter enjoyed being entertained.

Blair turned around and said, "stop following me."

"I'm just going home with my wife."

"I am not your wife."

"I think the state of New York disagrees with you beautiful," he said. He followed her into the limo and she stared at him "don't call me beautiful."

"Why not it's the truth?"

"Well, I hate the truth."

Blair crossed her arms across her chest and looked out the window.

Serena was straddling Dan's hips as they sat on her couch. Her hands were caressing his face as she plied him with kisses. She couldn't get enough of him. The pair had been insatiable since they had gotten back together a few days earlier. Her assistant gave her a sly look when she returned to work on Monday. Dan had shown up later that day and they had sex on her office floor. Serena pulled up his shirt and threw it aside. "I can't get enough of you,"she said as she kissed a trail up his chest. Dan ran his fingers through her hair and nuzzled her neck as she temptd him with her touch. "Neither can I. We've got lots of time to make up for."

He removed his hands from her hair and played with the hem of her short dress which had ridden up to her waist. "You need to stop going commando. It drives me crazy."

"Maybe that's the point,"she said with a knowing smile.

He ran his hands across her thighs and reached up around her till he was cupping her ass. "Have I ever told you that you have a stellar ass. Its award winning."

Serena giggled and said, "you're ass isn't so bad either." He gripped her waist and pushed her closer so that she could feel his erection through his slacks. Serena was already getting wet with the anticipation of his touch. He flipped her on to her back and spread her legs. Dan ran his index finger along her core. Her wetness drove him a little wild. The knowledge that he could excite her like this was more than a little flattering. He used his fingers to rub the gentle folds as he watched her eyelids flutter with desire and her head jerk from side to side. He enjoyed teasing her till she was at his mercy. He dipped his head and replaced his finger with his tongue. The soft moans coming from her mouth and bucking of her hips told Dan that he was doing all the right things. "Oh Dan, more dan. I need more of you!"

"patience,"he implored.

"No, I want you. All of you now!"

"I want to see you come for me first,"he said. Dan continued his ministrations till she was screaming out his name gasps. He watched as her face contorted and her skin became flushed. She was beautiful, but nothing was better than when she was flushed with passion. She was still amazed that he could do that to her so easily. She loved making love with their clothes on. It was thrilling and exhilarating. She sat up and decided that she was not going to wait to have more of him.

"Enough with the games, Humphrey,"she said as she undid his belt buckle and pulled his zipper down. She pulled his pants down. "Take it off."

Dan kicked off his pants and sat there in his boxers. She stuck her hand through the slit in his boxers and massaged his shaft watching has his face turned a slight pinkish hue. "Now,"she pleaded. She pushed his boxers down with her thumbs and said, "off." He obliged and watched her with hungry eyes as she straddled him. Serena gripped his shoulders as she rode him. He seemed to bring back a sort of wanton abandon in her. He pumped into her as she matched his thrusts by using the pressure of her hips. Dan loved the sight of her in her little dress as he thrust in and out of her. There was something a little secretive and dirty about fucking her while she was still clothed. As if she simply couldn't control her attraction to him, but he knew that this was more than just something dirty. Every time their bodies clided they were communicating. Sharing a little more of themselves. He held her gaze and kissed her gently which was a contrast to his speedy thrusts. It was as if his body would never tire of hers. Insatiable. That was the only way to describe his desire for her. They were both so caught up in the moment that neither of them heard the lock in the door and when he walked it was too late.

Casey standing in front of Serena's living room. He flushed and mumbled an apology before leaving. Serena dropped her head on Dan's shoulder and giggled. "That was a bit awkward."

"Does he just come in like that all the time?"Dan asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh I see,"he said. It wasn't that he was jealous it was just bound to make for some awkward moments. "Maybe you should go talk to him,"he said.

"I'll do it later. Now get back to work buster, "she said as she ground her hips. Dan slipped one strap down her shoulder and kissed her shoulder and then did the same with the other strap. He slid the dress down so that it was scrunched around her waist. He took one breast into his mouth and sucked till she started to fidget a bit. Dan grabbed her hips and gripped them as she ground into him. They matched each other rhythm for rhythm. He gloried in the feel of her inside him and soon he was getting close. He whispered, "Are you close?"

"Almost."

He pulled out of her and flipped her over so that she was on her hind legs holding on to one end of the couch. He reentered her and started to aggressively pound into her. He reached around her and teased her nipples. "hey, we got carried away. I'm sorry,"he said as he pulled out of her.

Serena turned around and said, "Let me take care of it."

She took him in his mouth and finished off the job letting seed drip down her mouth and on to her chest. "You're a goddess, "he mumbled.

"It's my fault. We just got a little carried away."

Dan stood in the middle of Serena's bedroom as she adjusted his tie. "Are you sure this is for the best. I mean I barely know the guy."

"Then get to know him. He's an important part of my life and I'm sure as soon as you guys get to know each other everything will be cool."

Dan looked at her skeptically, "We don't exactly have a lot in common."

"You'll never know till you try,"she said.

"Why do I have to wear a tie."

"Because you look nice and I'll thank you for wearing one later,"she said as she kissed him gently.

Dan met Casey at his apartment and the two men walked to a local sushi place together reluctantly. It was awkward and then Dan mumbled, "why does this feel like an awkward first date."

"Cause it's a mandate,"Casey said as he laughed.

He looked Dan once over and saw how uncomfortable he seemed in his jacket and tie. "Take the tie off. Its obviously not you."

Dan eagerly removed it and tucked it into his jacket pocket and said, "thanks."

"Sorry about the other day. I am just not used to having men over at that time. I guess we all have to kinda figure stuff out,"Casey said.

"Yeah."

"You're not much of a talker."

"Actually no, I am. I just don't know what to say."

"Its okay. I usually don't talk this much. Just don't hurt her."

"I can't imagine what you think of me. But, I'd never dream of hurting her."

"Well too late for that you did it already,"he said with more than a hint of anger.

"She didn't tell you what really happened did she?"Dan said frankly.

"I didn't leave her. She left me. I know what it looks like. I left her and broke her heart then spent a good part of my life fucking around, but that's not how it went down man. I think you need to talk to her."

"Why don't you talk to me then,"Casey said with curiosity.

"Well, its complicated but basically it involved our parents, a dead brother and idiotic kid who let her slip away. I tried I really did, but she was determined to let them win."

"What? You share a brother? Another Sake please."

Dan poured out the whole sordid tale. He wasn't sure if it was for him or Serena or simply to give Casey a little more perspective and reassure him that he wasn't out to hurt Serena, but it was more than a little cathartic. Casey was a good listener and he understood why Serena valued his friendship.

"Wow, that's some heavy shit,"he said.

"Yup."

"Two more sake onegai,"Casey said to the waiter. They'd been at the sushi bar for well over two hours, but he felt like not only had some of the awkwardness dissipated, but that he'd made a new friend.

When they came back to the building they were both laughing and stumbling. Serena looked at them and laughed. She loved seeing them getting along. The idea of their hating each other made her feel weird and she wanted Casey and Dan to get along because they both meant the world to her.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note:** Well we're getting to the final story arc. Originally, I'd planned for 15 chapters, but I have to finish up the Blair/Carter and Nasey story arcs first. So, we're looking at another 5 -7 chapters.

**Chapter 13: Insatiable**

Dan sat at his writing desk and admired the black box for the umpteenth time that day. He didn't know if it was the right shape or size of if it was even the right time, but he knew that he didn't want to waste any more time. He was in love and nothing not a decade a part, the stupidity of his parents, or his own sense of fear and self-loathing would ever change that. His decision was made. It was just a matter of finding the perfect time, the perfect place. Dan had kept his plan to himself. Not even Jenny knew what he was up to, but there was one person who he needed to speak to first. Not out of obligation, but a basic respect. Dan pocketed the black box and grabbed his ticket before hopping on the Jitney. It had been years since he had last scene her, but he was sure she'd welcome with open arms. When he got to the large house which faced the beach, he was more than a little nervous.

"Daniel? What are you doing here?"CeCe said as he smiled gratefully at her. He hugged the older woman and said, "There's something I wanted to discuss with you."

"Come in,"she said as she led him through the large foyer and into the living room. She motioned for her maid and drilled off a series of instructions. "So, what brings you to the Hamptons my dear."

"I don't know if you've spoken to Serena lately."

"I admit our communication is spotty, but yes we've spoken"

"So, you must know we're seeing each other again. We have been for a few months now."

"Yes, dear I know. I'm glad everything seemed to have worked for the best,"she said as she poured him a cup of coffee. Dan took it and poured a little crème in his cup for taking a sip.

"I wanted, no I needed you to know."

"Know what dear?"

"I'm going to ask her to marry me."

The older woman smiled widely. The action was so rare that it took him a bit by surprise. "Well, well."

"I just, um, wanted you to know."

"I appreciate your taking the time to keep an old lady informed."

"CeCe, you are ageless,"he said gently.

"So, tell me about your book, Daniel."she said as she settled back in her seat.

Dan told her a little about his latest novel and how it was almost ready for publication. Serena had finished the final edits on the book a little over a month ago and they were just waiting on word from the printers. The book launch was a few weeks away and Dan was more than a little excited. Serena had been occupied with putting the final touches on the launch lately so she'd spent many a long night at the office. He stayed for a quick lunch before taking the bus back to the city. By the time he got back home he was exhausted and more than a little excited. He wanted his proposal to be perfect. He peeled off his clothes and hopped in the shower.

Serena let herself in and put her keys on the table. "Dan, are you home?"

The sound of the shower alerted her to his prison so she kicked off her shoes and went into the kitchen to search for glass so she could pour herself a glass of wine. She was searching for a cork when she noticed that Dan had left his jacket draped across the chair. She picked it up and that's when a large object fell on the ground. She looked down and noticed a black velvet box. "It couldn't be?"she said to herself. She picked it off the floor and opened it. Inside was a small diamond in a platinum setting. It was simple and elegant. In fact it was perfect. Her breath caught in her throat. "Oh my God."

Serena was still holding the box when Dan came out of the shower. "Hey, you're here?"he said.

She pointed to the box in her hand and Dan gulped. "Shit,"he mumbled to himself. He really wanted it to be surprise. To do this the right way.

"you weren't supposed to find that," he said.

"Is this for real?"Serena asked.

"Yes, it is."he said. He took the bo from her and dropped to his knees. "Will you marry me, Serena?"

She felt like somebody had knocked the wind out of her. Tear began to stream down her face as she began to shake.

"Please say something Serena?"he pleaded.

"Yes, yes, yes,"she said as she jumped into his arms. They fell backwards and on to the floor as she covered his faces in kisses. Dan could hardly believe it. He was beyond happy. He simply held tightly to her. "You said yes. You really said yes" he mumbled as he held her face and kissed her.

She took the ring from his hands and placed it on her left finger. Dan laughed and said, "I thought I was supposed to do that?"

She giggled and said, "Well we never do things the traditional way. I have to tell Blair."

"Let's tell her together," Dan suggested.

Serena picked her cell and dialed Blair's number.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?"Blair asked grumpily.

"I'm sorry, but its important. Brunch Tomorrow B. Me, you and Dan. Its important."

"What the hell could be so important that you're making me break bread with Humphrey for?"

"I'll tell you tomorrow."

Dan and Serena walked down the street hand in hand as they headed for the small bistro where they were meeting Blair. Normally, Dan liked to minimize his contact with Blair, but this was something he wanted them to do together. They'd both waited for so long for this to come together that delivering the news of their engagement was something he wanted to do as a unit. Blair was already sitting at the table sipping a glass of mimosa. She barely acknowledged him and hugged Serena tightly.

"So, are you going to tell me what this little pow-wow is about."

"No, I'm going to show you, "Serena said as she held out her left hand. Blair looked at Dan with her mouth agape than at Serena and then back at Dan. She winked at him and smiled and said, "Finally."

Dan smiled to himself and perused the menu. He let them chatter excitedly about the details which he was bound to be left out of. He didn't really care, he just wanted to move on with their life. The details were just that details that he'd leave up to Serena to handle.

"So, let me get this straight. He proposed in the middle of his kitchen? How romantic. Why am I not surprised, Humphrey"

"What? She found the ring. I had a plan."

"Which knowning you involved a cafe, a cup of espresso and single red rose."

"Blair stop," Serena begged.

"Fine, I can be nice for maybe five minutes. But, I'm happy for you S. Now have you guys picked a date?"

"No, no we haven't, "Dan said.

Blair started to rattle on about the best times to have a wedding and locations. When the subject switched to wedding dresses and bridesmaid dresses, Dan's boredom began to set in. He really had no desire to sit here and be subjected to all this girly talk. He placed a hand on Serena's thing and smiled at her. He attempted to focus on what Blair was saying, but he was far more interested in the feel of Serena's supple thigh. His hand slipped under the material of her skirt and started to inch upwards. He looked at his fiancé and he noticed her eyelids begin to flutter rapidly which was usually his signal to keep going. Normally, he would do something like this in public, but his boredom coupled with the sheer high of their engagement had him pushing boundaries. His hand inched further up her thigh and he began kneading the soft flesh. He leaned closer to her and said, "Naughty. Going commando again?"

Serena scooted closer to him and said, "it's a special occasion." Blair eyed them curiously and she wondered what exactly they were talking about, but decided it was probably best that she didn't know. Dan started to run a finger along her core as Serena attempted to keep her breathing under control. He could feel the wetness there and it was beginning to drive him a little crazy too

"Stop it," Serena insisted.

"I'm bored," Dan whispered back to her.

"We're in public."

"Its never stopped us before," he said.

Blair rolled her eyes and said, "hello. I'm here."

"I'm sorry Blair. Dan was just being annoying."

"well what else is new? But you better get used to it, you're marrying him."

"Speaking of marriage Blair, how's Carter?"Dan asked pointedly as he stuck when finger inside Serena eliciting a small gasp in the process.

"He's fine and we're not exactly married."

"So, you got out of it. Why am I not surprised?"Dan said sarcastically.

"Shut up Humphrey."

Serena elbowed him and said, "stop."

"What I was being civil. Engaging in conversation, "he said as he continued his ministrations under the table. Serena reached under the table removed his hand and gave him a stern look. She clapped her legs together tightly. Dan laughed gently to himself. Serena reached over and squeezed his thigh and hovered over his crotch which forced a sharp intake of breath from Dan.

"Two can play at this game, "she whispered.

Dan attempted to ignore her and engage Blair in idle conversation who was already ignoring him and playing with her blackberry. He leaned over and said, "meet me in the bathroom in five minutes."

Dan got up and made his way to the men's room and waited for Serena to come and join him. When she got there he opened the men's room door and pulled her in. "Finally, I felt like I was waiting for ever.."

"Dan this is crazy. Someone can walk in any moment."

"I don't care," he said as he pushed her against the wall and kissed her deeply. Serena quickly unbuckled his jeans and pushed them to the floor as Dan pushed up her skirt. She wrapped a leg around him as he entered her in one swift motion. He kissed her neck as he pushed in and out of her. His desire for her was driving her over the edge. Serena grabbed on to him tightly. "We have to stop doing this,"she mumbled as her hips rocked against him.

Dan held on to the wall and nuzzled her neck as he thrust into her over and over again. His appetite for her was insatiable. "You drive me over the edge. I told you to stop going commando."

"It was supposed to be a gift," she said as she met him thrust for thrust.

"More like cruel temptation."

Serena laughed as Dan lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around him so that she could take more of him in. His every thrust forced her up to slid up the wall and then back down, her hair flying around her face as he fucked her until all thought escaped her. This wild side to him thrilled her like nothing else. Dan was a man in control most of the time, but when they were making love he was wild and just a little wanton. His precious control slipping as his body sought her out. She loved seeing him like this. It was raw and pure and just a little dark. "More, I want more," Serena screamed as he pumped into her for the last time before settling her on the floor.

"I, I don't know what came over me."

Serena giggled and said, "I'm irresistable. It's okay. I want you like that too," she said as she kissed him gently. "We have a lifetime to get it out of our systems."

"It's never going to happen. I'll never get you out of my system," he declared.


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the delay. Lost my writing mojo, but its back. Chapter 14: Solace

Serena and Dan had told almost everyone that was close to them about their engagement except for the two people who under normal circumstances would be the first to know. Casey had been shocked, but supportive. Jenny started jumping around trying to put together a party in their honour on the spot; Nate had hugged them both so hard that Dan could barely breathe. But, he was reticent to tell his father about his upcoming nuptials. It was still hard for Dan to believe himself. But, his relationship with Serena was one area that he avoided in his effort rebuild his relationship with Rufus. They knew they'd have to do it and do it soon.

They sat staring at the telephone. Neither of them willing to pick it up and dial. Serena lifted up the receiver and handed it to Dan. "Why do I have to go first?"

"Because I said so."

"That's your reasoning? Because you says so?" Dan whinged.

"Well, you better get used to it. You're the one that wanted a life time of my bossing you around."

Dan rolled his eyes and dialled his father's number. "Hey, Dad. Its me. I was wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner?"

Serena listened to him as Dan nodded his head and answered Rufus's questions. The conversation seemed to go on a lot longer than either of them had expected it too.

"Well, what did he say?"Serena asked.

"He said he's coming."

"But, what was he asking you? You were talking for a while."

"He was just talking my ear off and asking why I hadn't spoken to him in a few weeks and how this was out of the blue. The usual Rufus Humphrey guilt-trip." Serena's heart broke a little at the pained look on his face. She hated that Dan and his father had drifted apart so much. One of the things she admired about the Humphrey's were how close they were, so seeing them this distant tore her up inside and made her hate her mother just a little more. She knew that if lily had not re-entered Rufus's life than things would not be this strained between Dan and his father. She watched him as he went silent and moved about the room as he tried to gather his thoughts. She loved watching him in these moments. It told her so much about him. He really was that same boy on the inside. He'd managed to reign in his rambling, but he was still a ball of nerves and the things that hit him the hardest were family. Serena got up and wrapped her arms around his waist and said, "talk to me."

Dan said nothing, but simply let her hold him. He didn't even know how to put his feelings to words so he let her warmth envelope him.

Serena could perfectly recall the last conversation she had with her mother. It happened four years ago and she vowed never to speak to her again. The pain of the moment still cut through her like a knife.

Four years Earlier, Palace Hotel

Serena sat in a lounge chair in her mother's suite. Her legs crossed and her hands on her lap. She didn't know what to say. She wasn't exactly in the habit of talking with her mom, but she really wanted to make an effort because she seemed to be in a bad space. She'd just moved into the suite after what was another fight with Rufus.

"_Mom, are you okay? Why are you here? Shouldn't you be at home with Rufus?"_

_"In Brooklyn, I think I've had quite enough of that place," She said with what sounded like disdain. Serena didn't understand. She thought Rufus was supposed to be the love of her life._

"_I don't understand. Why are you giving up on this so easily? I thought he was it for you, mom."_

_"Oh Serena, you are so young and so so naïve. What's love but a fleeting emotion? Rufus and I, well we just weren't meant to be."_

"_That's it? I gave up Dan for another one of your useless whims. I can't believe this. No, I can. This is exactly something you'd pull. I've put up with it most of my life. All you've ever cared about is yourself."_

_Serena's rant was put to an abrupt stop by the force of her mother's hand against her face. She held her hand to her face and looked at the woman who claimed to be her mother, but knew absolutely nothing about motherhood. She looked at her aghast before she grabbed her bag and said, "We're done. Never speak to me again. No Christmas cards, no telephone calls. Nothing. As far as I'm concerned I have no mother."_

Serena stood before her mother's door and knocked gently. She wondered how she looked and if the years had been good to her. One the one hand, she had missed her on the other her life had been less turbulent since she'd cut her out. But, a part of her always craved motherly attention. The woman who opened the door was slightly familiar. She wore oversized glasses and seemed to have a perpetual scowl on her face.

"Serena, how lovely to see you. What brings you to my lowly quarters?"

"Mother, I have something to tell you. May come in?" Serena asked.

"Of course, dear."

Lily ushered her into the living room where she took a seat. The place was decorated with the latest style and rare pieces of art, which was Lily's signature. She had married some millionaire a little over a year ago.

"I'm sorry you couldn't come to the wedding. Edward would have loved to have met you. Would you like a cup of tea, water?"

"Its okay I'm fine."

"So, what is it that you want to tell me?" Lily inquired.

"I'm getting married."

Lily grabbed her and hugged her as Serena sat stiffly in her arms. "Whose the lucky guy?" Lily asked.

"It's Dan," Serena said softly.

Lily's face changed into a scowl almost immediately. Serena was a little put off by her mother's sudden change in demeanour.

"Dan Humphrey. I guess something's are meant to be after all," she said coldly.

Serena sucked in a breath. A part of her had hoped that her mother would be supportive, but really it wasn't a shock. "Well, I guess I should get going. I'll send you an invite once we set a date."

"You do that," Lily replied coldly. Once Serena left, she collapsed on to the sofa and broke down.

Serena was emotionally spent by the time she got home. She immediately through herself into Dan's arms. He rubbed her back and asked her if everything was okay.

"Just hold me," she whispered. They stood there, in each other's arms. Dan held her and kissed the top of her head and wished he could take her pain away. He understood her need not to talk about it.

"Come on, I have an idea. Meet me in the bathroom in 10 minutes."

Dan made his way into the bathroom and filled the tub with warm water and Serena's favourite bubbles. He covered the place with candles and lit them. They both needed some time to unwind and forget the drama that seemed to follow them around like a dark cloud. He stripped off his clothing and climbed in the bath. When Serena walked into the bathroom she saw Dan sitting in the tub with a rose between his teeth.

"You're a total sap,"she said.

"And you my lady are wearing too many clothes."

Serena giggled and slowly undressed, keeping her gaze fixed on Dan's the entire time. She slowly climbed into the tub with him and leaned against him. He handed her the rose and said, "for you."

"Still the dork I see."

"You know you love it,"he said cockily.

"An arrogant dork too," she said as he ran circles across her stomach with his soapy hand.

Dan smiled and kissed the spot behind her ear. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the feel of his lingering touch. "I love you,"he whispered into her ear as he held her. She sat back enjoying the feel of his arms and the water lapping around her. She turned to face him and said, "I love you more than you could ever know."

They touched heads and kissed gently. Dan got up and towelled her off before doing the same for himself. Together they walked to the bedroom were they fell on to the bed together. His touch was tender at first, but before she realized it he had managed to push her legs apart. "You're so damn beautiful it hurts."

She looked up at him in confusion and he simply he kissed her with a fierce passion that threatened to engulf them both. She gripped the sheets as he lapped at her core, doing things with his tongue that simply drove her crazy. Serena's knees gripped his head in a vice grip as the convulsions coursed through her. Once the tremors began to settle, Dan looked up at her and said, "I think you just gave me a headache."

"shutup,"she said as she giggled. Serena flipped over so that she was straddling him. Dan looked up at her and entered her as he held her waist and she used his shoulders to balance herself. He thrust into her over and over again. There was something about Serena that thrilled him and drove him just a little wild. "You drive me crazy. I just can never get enough of you."

"That's good because you're stuck with me. Forever."


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note**: Sorry for the delay

**Chapter 15: The launch part 1**

Blair stood rigidly, her hands clamped to her sides as she waited for the elevator to arrive. She stole a glance at Carter and rolled her eyes. Carter snaked a hand around her waist and she abruptly slapped it away. "Don't touch me"

"That's not what you were saying a few hours ago," Carter said with a smirk. Blair glared at him and crossed arms across her chest. Blair crossed her arms across her chest and looked straight at the elevator which seemed to take forever to come. Carter scooted closer to her and traced the curve her back with his index finger. She sucked in her breath and tried to ignore the smell of his cologne, and the softness of his caress.

"We're getting an annulment, "she said to herself. Blair refused to listen to the part of her brain that said that she should give this a shot; give him a shot. The elevator door opened and she rushed inside and stood at one end and hoped he'd get the message and stay on the other end, but Carter was stubborn. He stood next to her and whispered into her ear. "You know you want me. Stop denying it."

"it doesn't matter. Anyways its pure lust. Lust does not make a marriage work."

"It's a start."

"What about love?"

"In time."

"That's not good enough for me Carter. I need to be in love."

"Love is over-rated,"he muttered.

"So is sex,"she said as she pressed the button to the 24th floor harder. Carter glared at her and pressed the stop button.

"What the hell are you doing?"Blair asked.

"Something I've been dying to do since I woke up this morning, "he said before grabbing her and kissing her firmly on the mouth. Despite her muted protests, Blair found herself kissing him back passionately as he pulled up her skirt and removed her panties. Carter looked up at her, his eyes asking if she should continue. Blair simply nodded her head in approval and found herself getting lost in a sea of hazel. He pinned her up against the elevator door, as he pushed her skirt so it bunched up around her tiny waist.

"You drive me crazy. My temptress."

Blair pulled her skirt down and said, "I belong to no one," and moved to the opposite end of the elevator. She hated herself for letting him do this to her again. There was just something about him that drove her to do crazy things. Carter was a bad influence and marrying him was by far one of the dumbest things she had ever done.

Rita was listening to her voicemail as she drove over the bridge as she headed towards Dan's loft. Her jaw dropped and heart plummeted when she listened to what he had to say. They had sort of lost touch in the past few months. She noticed that he seemed caught up in this new girl he was dating, but she assumed like all the rest she'd eventually drop off the radar. Dan's relationships didn't tend to last beyond the three month mark. She could hardly believe that they were still together, but worse of all dan admitting that he was in love. He mumbled something about it being a long story. Rita had waited patiently for him to get over whatever it was he was going through. She had ran out on him in college because the memory of his ex was so strong and constantly overpowered their relationship. It had just gotten to be too much. It felt like she was standing in the room every time they were together, so she had ended it. It had taken them two years to speak again, but eventually they'd managed to forge a friendship. Rita had hoped that he'd eventually see how great they could be together once he got some of his issues out of his system. But, now in a single phone call, all her hopes came crashing down. Dan Humphrey would never be hers. She finally made it to his street. She parked her Saab and got out and made her way up the elevator. She rung the doorbell and was greated by a blonde bombshell who seemed eerily familiar.

"Hi?"

"Hi, I'm Rita. Dan's friend. Is he home?"

"He is out with a friend of his. Come in,"Serena said as she welcomed Rita inside. Rita was shocked by the changes to the loft. She could feel the feminine touches that had been added in the last few months. The windows were no longer bare. Instead they were covered with sleek curtains in a metallic color. The coffee table was adorned with a vase full of fresh flowers. Actually the whole apartment seemed to carry the scent of flowers. The flash of color was something Dan rarely would bother with.

"So, you must be Dan's new girlfriend."

"I guess you could say that. He's mentioned you a few times. You went to college together right?"

"Yeah, we used to go out, but it didn't work out,"Rita mumbled. She was trying to place the blonde. She got up and walked around as she went to get her something to drink. It was then she noticed the picture in the frame. It was her, the ex that had haunted her relationship with Dan.

Serena noticed Rita gaping at the picture of her and dan at the cotillion. Something bout this girl rubbed her the wrong way, but she wasn't going to make a big deal about it.

"I hope ice tea is okay."

Serena handed the glass to the girl and it was then that Rita noticed the shiny diamond ring on her left finger. They were getting married. Married.

"You're engaged. Congratulations."

"Thank you. It's taken us a long time to get to where we are and we're both determined to stop letting life get in the way, "Serena said as she stared at the girl intensly. She wanted her to get the message. Dan was hers and that her attentions were unwelcome. Rita could feel the steam emanating from the other girl and her fight reflex kicked in.

"Well sometimes its hard to make up for years and distance."

"Sometimes time means nothing when the heart isn't whole."

"sometimes the pain just isn't worth the hassle."

"Well in this case it is."

Rita took a sip of her ice tea and looked back at Serena with fire in her eyes. "Please leave. This is my home and I will not have you walking here acting like you can disparage my relationship with Dan. I get that you have a history with him, but my history with him outweighs whatever the two of you shared and it couldn't have been all that important if he hadn't told you about our engagement considering he has told all of his other friends. So, please leave. I'll let Dan know you came by,"Serena said coldly as she waited for the other girl to leave.

Rita simply smiled and said, "no need to be so testy, "before exiting the apartment. Serena watched the girl leave the loft and all her anger seemed to bubble to the surface in that moment. She picked up the vase on the coffee table and threw it across the room in frustration. She couldn't believe the gall of that girl. Who was she to comment on her relationship with Dan? She didn't know her and it was obvious she didn't know Dan as well as she'd like to think she did. She just hated that Dan wasn't here to deal with the horrid bitch, but above all she was pissed that she had no warning about her whatsoever. All she knew was that she was an old friend. The fact that he had lied to her made her even angrier.

Nate and Jenny were walking in the park when they decided to take a break and sit down on one of the benches. Jenny pushed a stray hair from her face and smiled up at him. Nate still had this way of making her heart skip a beat, but she was determined to stop thinking of him in that way.

"so, how are things with Casey? When am I going to meet him?"

"He's going to be at the launch tonight."

"I am glad you are so happy. You seem at peace," Jenny said as she played with a wisp of hair. Nate locked eyes with Jenny and tried to ignore the small spark that he felt. There had always been something between Jenny and himself, but he spent more time ignoring it then anything else because their relationship was just too complicated. He pushed a strand of her hair from her face and said, "that's better."

Jenny didn't know what to say. There was not mistaking what he had just done, but she wanted to know why. What was up with him? I mean he was dating a guy, not that she judged that sort of thing. But, she really liked to have a clear understanding of things. Gay, straight. Interested in me or not, but with Nate the lines were always blurred. He was taken, but free; but straight, her friend, but more. She needed definition. It was just the way her mind operated. She didn't live in the land of in between.

"What are you doing nate?"

"Huh, I don't understand."

"OF course you don't. Ugh, I should go,"Jenny said as she made her way swiftly across the park. She could hear his footsteps behind her. It didn't take him long to catch up to her.

"Jenny what's wrong?"

"Nate I have to go."

Jenny attempted to walk faster which was hard considering she was wearing 2 inch heels. She found herself marching up fifth avenue when Nate grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her to face him. "Talk to me."

"I can't do this anymore nate. I can't live like this. I can't keep hoping that you'll look at me like you once did. So, stop. Just stop."

"What if I don't want to."

"You have a boyfriend. Not girlfriend, but a boyfriend."

"Are you suddenly homophobic, I though you were better than that?"

"I'm not homophobic. Its just hard enough competing with the rest of the female population now I have to compete for guys attention too. Its too much,"Jenny said.

"I, I don't know what to say."

Jenny wanted to walk away to leave him standing there, but she couldn't move. She was trapped by his gaze. This whole conversation was awkward, she wanted to be free of whatever spell was binding her to nate. "Just let me go. Once and for all Nate,just let me go."

"What if I can't?"he asked before grabbing her and kissing her. Jenny's breath caught in her throat as he pulled her closer and kissed her with such a fervent passion that nearly knocked her off her feet. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. The last thing she should be doing is kissing Nate Archibald in the middle of the street, but she couldn't help herself. They were both so caught up in the other that they didn't hear the two familiar voices that said, "What the hell is going on here?"

They turned to see Dan and Casey facing them. Casey turned and walked away leaving Dan to deal with the caught lovers in the middle of a busy street.

"You two have lot of 'splaining to do."

Dan rolled his eyes and decided to save his anger and flailing for a more opportune time. The last thing he wanted to be doing is dealing with this drama out in the open. "Come on, lets grab some coffee and I want to know what exactly the two of you are thinking and hwy I shouldn't beat the crap out of you right now for touching my sister. Again."

Serena spent the rest of the day dealing with the caterer, the wait staff and the florist –who was running over an hour late with the deliveries. She wanted everything to go off without a hitch, but things didn't seem to be running smoothly. It took nearly all day, but the florist finally arrived as did the glassware and other equipment that she'd been waiting on. Normally, these small delays wouldn't bother her. She really should be leaving it up to the PR department, but she wanted to handle this launch herself. This book was special to her. Dan was her first writer as an editor and she wanted to prove to everyone that she could separate her emotions from her work and do what it took to get the job done.

Serena found herself rearranging the flower arrangements on one of the end tables when Dan finally arrived. The sight of him nearly took her breath away. He was dressed in his finest suit and she watched him as he adjusted his tie. Dan always seemed to clean up so well. She loved the way he looked in a suit. His best features were extenuated by the expensive jacket and slacks. She loved that he decided to wear a tie she had bought for him recently. It made the anger she felt towards him dissipate for a split second. They had lots to discuss, but she was determined not to do it here.

"hey,"he said as he kissed her cheek.

"hi,"she said as she patted his shoulders. "You look nice."

"You look pretty hot tonight,"Dan said as he attempted to kiss her, but she turned and started adjusting another floral arrangement. Dan wondered what he had done to cause her to turn from him so abruptly.

"Hey, Serena. What's wrong? Did I do something?"

"Let's not talk about it here."

Dan grabbed her hand and led her through to the other side of the room. "Okay spill. What's going on with you?"

"Why didn't you tell me about Rita?"

"Tell you what exactly?"

Serena crossed her arms and frowned at him. "Oh lets see. How she's your ex-girlfriend and the fact that she's in love with you."

"What are you talking about? She's not in love with me. Yes, we dated but it was short lived. She's been nothing more than a friend for years."

"You lied."

"I didn't lie."

"It was a lie of omission."

"So, you want me to list all the girls I've dated since we last broke up. Is that it? I though we'd been through this. I am not proud of my behavior, but none of them were you. God, what do you want me to do?"

"I want you to be honest with me Dan. I want you to not put me in the line of fire cause some girl has an unrequited crush on you."

Dan's temper subsided as what she was trying to tell him sunk in. He wanted to make her feel better, but he wasn't expecting whatever it was that happened between Rita and her

"Tell me what happened? What did she say to you?"

"She basically said we were doomed cause too much time had passed"

Dan clenched his jaw and said, "she had no right to say that to you. Rita can be opinionated, but she'd been there for me during a very rough time that's why I let her get away with half the crap that I did. But, what she said to you was out of line and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you we dated, but really it wasn't important. I didn't think it was worth mentioning."

"Dan I really need to get back to work. We'll talk about this later. I just I need to know I can trust you and how can I trust you if you don't talk to me."

**TBC**


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note:** Thanks for all the feedback. I know this chapter is a little sappy, but you know me I embrace the cheese.

Chapter 16: The Launch Part 2

Dan watched as Serena walked away and sighed. She was angry with him and he had no idea what to do, but he was more than a little irritated with Rita She had no right to speak to Serena the way she had and he would have to confront her and make sure that she never spoke her like that again. He ran his hand through his hair and looked around. Serena was speaking to the wait staff, giving them instructions and what to do before the guests started pouring in. This whole evening felt a little surreal and he'd rather be at home curled up in bed with Serena in his arms, but these functions were a big part of what made a book a success and more than anything he wanted this book to do well. It had taken him the greater part of five years to get his emotions down and it hadn't come together till Serena had reemerged in his life because more than anything it was about a young boys attempt at surviving heart break and he could finally give his hero that happy ending that readers craved. But, if it hadn't been for fate and Serena it would have been impossible. Hunter may have been the name of his character, but it was clear that he was no fictional figure. He wasn't going to let Rita stop him from having his happy ending. He owed it to both of them. Dan grabbed a champagne flute from a passing waiter and tried his best to linger about the room, all the while keeping his gaze fixed on Serena. He smiled up at her and she returned it half-heartedly. He knew she was upset but that small gesture let him know that they would be okay. He sipped his champagne as he engaged in idle chit chat with several other authors and people from the publishing industry. It wasn't the first nor would it be the last time that he'd be forced to endure their boring conversation.

"Humphrey my man,"a burly man said as he slapped him on the back. Dan cringed at the sight of his main competition and the most annoying person he'd had the misfortune to meet.

"Lewis, what brings you here tonight?"

"Do you think I'd miss your launch. I was beginning to think that you were a one book wonder Humphrey."

Dan muffled a sarcastic remark, a trait that he had acquired over the years, and gritted his teeth. "Sorry to disappoint you Lewis. How's yours going?"

"Ugh going. Can't seem to find a publisher as you know. We're not all the golden child of Manhattan."

Dan wanted to know what it would take to be rid of him when Serena came up to him and stood beside him. "Hello, and who are you?"

"Lewis Davies at your service. My oh my aren't you a beauty,"he drawled and Serena moved instinctively closer to Dan and grabbed his hand in her own.

"Humphrey, don't tell me this goddess is yours?"

Dan kissed her on the cheek and said, "I don't own anyone, but she is my fiancée. Serena meet Lewis," he said as he paused a moment and added "a fellow writer."

"Author,"Lewis corrected.

"I see," Serena said as Lewis took her other hand and kissed her hand. It took all the grace she had to not visibly shudder when he slobbered all over her hand. "Dan can you come with me? We'll see you later Lewis."

They left him standing in the middle of the room gaping at them. Once he was earshot, Dan said "Thank you. God, I hate that guy."

"I could tell. I was half-expecting you to pummel him when he stared at me."

"He was ogling your breasts."

Serena giggled and said, "I love it when you're jealous. You clench your jaw and its about the sexiest thing."

"You think I'm sexy when I'm angry?"

"Absolutely, but I'm still upset with you Dan. I just, I didn't wanna see you suffering at the hands of a classless ogre."

Dan wrapped his arms around her and said, "I'm sorry Serena. I hate what Rita said to you and you have every right to be angry. I just hate it when we fight."

"There you go trying to charm me again."

"Is it working?"

"Maybe just a little,"she said as he kissed along her jaw and she attempted to not react, but the sensations he was creating made her want to throw him against the wall and smother him in kisses. Dan pulled her even closer and kissed her hungrily. She was swept up in his touch that she forgot that she was in a room full of her business associates. She pulled away gently and said, "I have to go back to work, Dan. Plus all my colleagues can see us."

"So?"

"Well, I don't want to make a bad impression at my first launch."

"You've done a great job and they all know it."

"But, still I have to be professional. We can save all that pent up sexual longing for later."

"You promise?"

"I promise!"

Jenny smoothed her skirt and made her way across the room. She grabbed a drink from one of the wait staff and searched for her brother. She didn't really want to be here, but she had to show support for her brother. He really had been there for her for as long as she could remember, but the idea of seeing Nate and Casey made her nervous. She had not spoken to Nate since her awkward conversation with Dan in the café this afternoon. Jenny didn't know what was going through his mind or why he had kissed her. All she wanted was for her life to go back to normal, she just wanted to be able to purge him from her mind and heart, but she seemed in capable of doing so. She took a large sip of the bubbly liquid and let it warm her blood.

"Can I talk to you for a moment,"said an unfamiliar voice.

She turned around and found herself looking at Casey. She swallowed her drink and said, "Sure"

_Oh God what do I tell him?_

She followed Casey across the room till they were in the lobby of the hotel. She tucked a stray hair behind her ear and waited for him to say something.

"Do you love him?"Casey asked.

Jenny simply nodded her head.

"That's what I thought. I love him too, but I don't do love triangles. He means a lot to me, but I don't share and I just wanted you to know that if you hurt him you'll regret it."

"What are you saying? Casey I'm really sorry about what happened today. I wasn't expecting it and I'm sorry if I hurt you. I just, ugh this is not supposed to be my life."

"Look I'm not into all this pseudo-teen angst. You have a history with Nate, I don't and its obvious that you too have unfinished business. So, I'm letting him go. He's all yours. Just treat him right."

"Look Casey that's sweet of you. But, Nate doesn't want me. He's just confused. I shouldn't have let him kiss me, but this is not the first time this has happened. He runs to me everytime he gets scared. But, he never chooses me and I really do not want to tear apart your relationship. He is with you not me. If he wanted me, he would have chosen me years ago."

"God you're dense. There is a reason he keeps going back to you. Do you have any idea how many conversations we've had about you? This is why I normally don't do relationships. Too much fucking drama! Just be good to him,"he said before walking away.

Jenny just stood there not knowing what to make of what Casey had said.

Dan stood up on stage as Serena gave a short introduction about his book. He was supposed to read a small passage from the book before the evening came to a close. She flicked her now shoulder length blonde hair and smiled.

"This book has been nothing short of a labor of love and it has taken more than five years of hard work to get here. Daniel Humphrey's second book "Only love" is something we are all proud of. With no further ado may present Daniel Humphrey."

The audience clapped. Dan took the microphone from Serena and nodded his head before beginning to read from his favorite chapter. When he finally finished he noticed more than a stray tear which made him want to jump for joy. It was exactly what he'd always wanted. To produce a work that would touch people's soul and if the broader readership took it the way these room full of suits did then it was bound to be a success. They clapped loudly and he descended the stage and went outside to get some fresh air. All this attention was not something he was suited to. He needed a moment to process his thoughts. Just as he was about to go back inside Rita came up to him.

Dan looked at her coldly.

'Hi, I guess your fiancée spoke to you."

"Yes she did."

"Why didn't you tell me you were getting married, Dan?"she asked.

"Because it just happened and I was going to tell you, but that didn't give you the right to verbally attack her in my home. I thought we were friends. What the hell is your problem?"

"I love you."

Dan looked at her quizzically.

"I know its hard for you to believe, but its true. I've loved you since we were in college, but she was always there lurking in your thoughts."

"We ended a long time ago,"Dan said.

"Because of her."

"You knew the deal when we met. I told you that I'd probably never love anyone the way I loved her. I thought we were friends. I thought you understood, but all this time you were just pretending, biding your time thinking I would change my mind."

"Yes, that's true."

"But, why."

"I thought you'd get over her eventually."

Dan simply shook his head. "I'm sorry if I led you on, but that was never going to happen. I just I can't do this anymore. I can't have you in my life if you can't respect Serena or what she means to me. I won't do that to her."

"God what is this hold she has over you?"

"Its called love. Real love not infatuation. I have to go,"Dan said and he turned to walk up the steps when he saw Serena standing there with the most gentle look on her face.

"How, how long were you standing there."

"Long enough,"she said as she wrapped her arms around him tightly. Dan held on to her as if his life depended on it when he looked up he saw Rita walking away.

"I, I had no idea Dan. Why didn't you tell me before?"

"It's embarrassing. What was I supposed to say. Oh by the way, I've been pining away for you for 10 years."

"It could have helped me not be so angry,"she said jokingly.

"Well now you know exactly how pathetic I am."

Serena grabbed his face and said, "you are not pathetic. You're wonderful and I'm so glad we found each other again.

_**FAQ:**__Okay so the wedding chapter is coming up soon. Here's your chance to put in a vote for the location. So please tell me where you think they should have it in your reviews._


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note:** Thank you for your patience. Again, I apologize for the delay.

**Chapter 17: Home Sweet Home**

Jenny sat on her couch clutching the carton of Haagen Daas double chocolate chip as she tried to let Casey's words sink in. She hated to think of herself as a relationship destroyer. What he said still left him baffled and she wondered how Nate really felt, but mostly she just didn't want to think about all that drama. She picked up her box of dvds, flipped through them until she found one that would ease her mood and popped it in the DVD player. She settled back and began to watch. There was something about Clueless that always made her giggle. It was her feel good movie. She was about halfway through her movie when someone began knocking on her door loudly. She got out off the couch, tugged on her shirt and pulled her hair back in a ponytail before answering the door.

"Nate? What are you doing here?"

"You haven't called me back?" he said.

"I didn't know you called. My battery must be dead."

"I was worried that you were mad at me. I, ugh, I know this is an awkward situation. I just thought we should talk about it or something," Nate said.

Jenny smiled tersely and said, "Then talk."

Nate took a deep breath and debated where to start. He still wasn't sure why he was here or why it was so important to him for her to understand; to forgive her. She had this pull over him that he never quite understood. A part of him knew Casey was right, they had a history that was something he couldn't deny. She was always the person he found heading back towards.

"Well?"Jenny said impatiently. She really didn't know why he was here, but the last thing she needed was to be drawn back into his web. She always lost a little part of herself when she did so.'

"Just give me a moment. I need to just get this out Jenny. I know I haven't always treated you with the respect that you deserve, but you mean a lot. Tonight Casey said something to me that I know was true even though I thought it seemed a little weird at first. I walked around all night mulling over his words. We do have a history. You've been a part of my life for a long time. No matter how hard I try to fight my feelings for you, it always comes back to you. I can't deny that anymore. I know I've hurt you and I wouldn't blame you if you don't want to have anything to do with me. But, I just ask that you give me one final chance because I need you. Its more than that, I want you," he said as he looked at her earnestly.

Jenny tried to let it all sink in, but the look in his eyes—the sheer intensity of his glare—unsettled her even more than his words. Nate scooted closer to her on the couch and held her face in his hands. "One more chance, "he said softly before placing his lips on top of her and kissing her with a gentleness that nearly took her breath away. Jenny quickly lost herself in the feel of his arms. It was like resisting the forces of nature. Being with him just felt right and no amount of logic could change the way she felt when he touched her like this, held her like this. Nate finally released her and rested his forehead on hers and smiled.

"I'll take that as a yes,"he said with a smirk.

"For now," she said before pulling him in for another kiss.

Dan was sitting on the couch with Serena's feet in his lap. He gently massaged them as they talked about what had just gone down with Rita. Dan still felt a little guilty that he hadn't fully disclosed his past with Rita with her. Her ability to understand and forgive him often blew him away. He had a colored past and that had a lot to do with losing Serena.

"I'm sorry about Rita," Dan said.

"Will you stop apologizing? I said it was okay, but next time you've got to give me a heads up about these things."

Dan sighed and said, "I was a whore."

Serena cocked her eyebrow and said, "what?"

"You heard me. I was a whore. I dated a lot of women mostly cause I couldn't get you out of my head and I thought if I filled my life with as many distractions as possible then I would be fine. But, it never worked. None of them were you."

Serena looked at him a beat and broke into a fit of giggles. One of the things she loved about Dan was his frankness and he often beat himself up more than was necessary.

"You're laughing at me."

"Wouldn't you? Dan relax. I get it. Stop feeling so guilty. I have just as colored a past if not worse. I'm never going to judge you for your past. I guess I wish that you still had me on that pedestal. It hurts to know you've been with others, but so have I. So, I have no right to that hurt. But, really you're making a bigger deal of it then necessary."

Dan let go of her feet and said, "Come here." She moved closer to him and he enveloped her in his arms. She laid back against him and smiled gently to herself. She felt so good about her life for the first time in ages. Their time with others meant not to her because she finally had him back and a part f her knew they had to experience that loss in order for them to find what they now had. In less than a year, all the missing pieces of her life fell back into place.

"I love you,"she said as they sat there.

"I love you more than you could ever imagine. I was thinking maybe we should get a real place. Something thats ours."

"A house? I always imagined living in actual house."

"Brownstone with tons of history and where we can add to the centuries of stories the home has to tell."

"Of course you would think of our life as a story."

"Our life is a story."

"No, its a fairytale."

"No, not a fairytale. It's classic novel, the Great American novel,"Dan mused.

Serena giggled to herself and said, "Always the writer. So, where do you want to live?"

"I don't care. So long as it's close to you."

Dan and Serena followed the portly real estate around the city for what seemed like hours and they couldn't stand any of the houses they saw. Most of them were located right in the middle of the city. It was just too close to the noise and hub-bub of the city. They were looking for something a little quieter. Dan did not envision living out the rest of his life right smack in the middle of Manhattan. He was raised in Brooklyn where it felt almost suburban even though he was a stones-throw from the city.

"This house has woodpaneling and bay windows which gives you a great view into the heart of the city streets,"the agent said.

"Stop. Please just stop. This is not what we want. We were looking for something quieter. This place is not just a home, its our first home and I will not raise my future children in the middle of Manhattan!"Dan blurted out.

Serena looked at him with shocked expression on her face. She pulled him to the side and said, "children?" Dan softened and said, "Of course. Isn't that what this is about. Building a life together and I've always envisioned having children with you."

"But, what we never talked about it?"

"I guess I didn't think it was a discussion we needed to have. You do want to have kids don't you?"Dan asked matter-of-factly.

"Of course. Of course I do. I just didn't think we'd be talking about it for awhile."

"I'm sorry if I freaked you out," he said as he held her close.

"No, you didn't freak me out. I have an idea."

Serena went up to the agent and whispered something to her. The woman gasped and said, "Brooklyn? But, why?"

"Because its home and it's where we belong."

Dan looked at her and smiled. "Are you sure about this,"he whispered in her ear.

She looked at him earnestly and said, "I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I've always felt at home with you and its only right that we start our life, our family in the place you grew up. Anyways, I'm gonna be a Humphrey and Humphrey's belong in Brooklyn."


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's note:** Sorry for the delay. I had a little writing mojo problem, blame the fail!

**Only You: Chapter 18—Sweet Disposition**

_**Sweet Disposition  
Never to soon  
Ohh wreck less abandon  
Like no ones  
Watching you**_

Jenny was still racked with guilt. She had broken up a relationship without ever meaning to do so. This wasn't what she did. She was not a home wrecker. A part of her wanted nothing more than the stolen kisses and the evening strolls with Nate that had become a part of her daily routine, but there was also this little part of her that felt like she was doing something wrong; like she was breaking some sort of moral code. She didn't know why she felt this way, but she couldn't help it. She shook her blonde locks and went back to sketching her latest design. She had a few months to go before her latest line premiered and really couldn't afford to be distracted by romance, but no matter what she tried she couldn't concentrate.

"I need some air,"she said to herself, so she grabbed her coat and decided to go for a walk. She was hoping a wiff spring air would lift her spirits and get her back on track. She grabbed a latte from her favorite café and found herself in central park on her favorite bench. She loved people watching. There was something about the serenity of it all that made her feel at ease. She had been sitting there sipping her latte for close to an hour when Casey came up to her sat down.

"You look sad little birdie."

"Little birdie?"

"It's my pet name for you, I just never shared it. Why are you so sad?"

"I'm not sad."

"Then why the long face. You're far too gorgeous to be so glum."

Jenny blew a stray hair from her face, "I'm surprised you even want to speak to me after what I did."

Casey looked at her gently and said, "What did you do?"

"You know the whole Nate situation."

He laughed wrapped an arm around her. "Jennifer, Jennifer. I admit I would have liked to keep Nate around for a little longer, but it clearly was not meant to be. You didn't steal him from me. He was never really mine. I was simply borrowing him until he was ready for you. It's water under the bridge and I've already moved on. I'm not exactly made for long-term relationships anyway."

"But, what we did it was so awful."

He pressed his hand to her lips and said, "shh. Stop that. You did nothing. Sometimes the heart wants what it wants. There is no changing that. Now stop moping around and have fun for fuck's sake."

A big part of Jenny felt relieved. It was as if a big weight had been lifted from her shoulders. "You're a good guy Casey,"she said as she hugged him tightly.

"I know birdie."

"Why do you call me that?"

"Because you're class act and don't let anyone convince you otherwise," he said before he got up and left the park.

_**A moment, a love, a dream aloud  
A kiss, a cry, our rights, ours wrongs**_

Blair stood outside of the courtroom, wringing her hands. Today she would finally be granted freedom her deepest mistake. What drove her to marry Carter Biazen still puzzled her. Was it his roguish charm or was it simply that reminded her of someone that she had yet to purge from her system. She smoothed her Oscar de la Renta skirt and pushed through the large wooden doors and took a seat next to her attorney. Blair kept her gaze fixed to the front of the court room. Her palms were sweaty-the only visible sign of distress. Blair had mastered putting on a façade of cool indifference years ago. Over a decade of disappointment had left their indelible mark on her wounded soul. This was not how her life was supposed to turn out, but Blair Waldorf had stopped believing in fairytales long ago. It was one of the many lessons that had come courtesy of one Chuck Bass. After all these years, she was still incapable of purging him from her mind. She wondered where it had all gone wrong between them. What could she have done differently? Why couldn't she allow her heart to forget him. She used to tell Serena that Chuck was her Dan—that guy whom she simply couldn't purge from her soul. Considering that Serena and Dan were about to get their happily ever after, a part of her wondered if there was any hope for Chuck and herself.

But, one look across the aisle at Carter brought her barreling back to reality. She was married and to the wrong guy and if she got her way, she'd soon be divorced. Blair still had no idea what had possessed her to marry that asshole extraordinaire. Sure the sex was good, but that was no reason to tie oneself to a loser like Carter Baizen.

"Are you ready Ms. Baizen?"he lawyer asked.

Blair clenched her teeth and sweetly said, "Ms. Waldorf."

"Pardon me, Miss."

"I prefer not to be associated with that name even if I made the mistake of marrying him. I'm a Waldorf and always will be, "she said tersely

"I see,"the lawyer replied with more than a little awkwardness.

The baliff came to the front of the courtroom and announced the judge. Blair stood up and sat down as soon as the judge was seated. She tried her best not look at Carter as the judge went through Carter's stupid claims.

"You want Ms. Waldorf to admit she married and divorced you," the judge asked in confusion.

"Yes, sir,"he said before turning to look at blair and winking.

"And you have no monetary claims,"he continued.

"None whatsoever,"Carter said.

"That's very unorthodox. I gather, Ms. Waldorf, you are willing to comply?"

"Of course not. His claims are ridiculous."

The older gentlemen glared from Blair to Carter and shook his head disapprovingly.

"Why are the tow of you wasting the courts time with this nonsense. Mr. Baizen your request is denied. Ms. Waldof I grant your petition for a divorce, but next time I suggest you look before you leap. Now get the hell out of my courtroom," he said before pounding on his gavel and exiting in a huff.

Once she was outside the courthouse, Blair finally felt like she could breathe again. She smoothed her skirt and mad her way down the steps.

"So, you finally got away with murder? So, who was your victim?" an alarmingly familiar voice whispered in her ear. Blair swung around and found herself standing face to face with Chuck Bass.

"Are you stalking me?" she demanded

"Hardly. Especially, since I haven't seen you in what eight years," he asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Actually it's been five years."

"Aww, you missed me?"he said in his trademark pervy voice.

"Shut up!"

"Feisty, I missed your little sneer."

"Don't call me feisty and I don't care if you missed me, "she said as she started walking towards the parking lot before she realized that she didn't have a care. Chuck was trailing close behind her.

"Don't tell me you drive now?"

Blair folded her arms across her chest and said, "I might." Chuck laughed that deep throaty laugh that used to drive her crazy. "You thik you know me so well, Chuck, but you don't."

"I don't think. I DO know you that well. So, where's your driver?"

Blair gritted her teeth and whispered, "over there."

"What? I can't hear you?"

"I said he's OVER THERE."

He smiled at Blair. He missed verbally sparring with her. It had a way of brightening his day. The beeping of his blackberry interrupted his little jaunt down memory lane. "I'm late for a meeting with a judge."

"Another sexual harassment suit that needs to be taken care of," Blair muttered sarcastically.

"Hardly. I don't harass, I merely persuade."

"Or manipulate."

_**So stay there  
Cause i'll be coming over  
While our bloods still young**_

Serena sat on the couch staring at the three white sticks that all said the same thing. She couldn't believe it. She pulled her hair from her ace and tried to think of a how she was going to break it to Dan. He told her he wanted to start a family, but she didn't think he would want to do that right away. Serena touched her tummy and smiled to herself. Dan was coming back from the book tour tonight, but she didn't want to drop this bomb on him right away. However, she really had no choice because this was not something she could keep quiet about. She needed to keep her mind occupied so she busied herself with cleaning the house. Normally, cleaning that was not part of her everyday repertoire, but the issue at hand called for desperate measure. She'd moved from tidying up the bathroom to cleaning the bedrooms. The sound of a door opening made her come into the hall. She stood at the top of the steps as she looked down at Dan standing in the door way. His hair was all mussed up and he looked exhausted. She ran down the steps and leaped into his waiting arms. She covered his face with kisses barely giving him a chance to catch his breath.

"I missed you baby, "Dan said in between kisses. He carried her into the living room and fell back on the couch. Serena lay on top of him and aggressively tore his shirt and laid her hands all over him. She missed the feel of him. Dan ran his fingers underneath her tshirt and caressed the smooth flesh just above her navel. He let her hair tickle his face as she continued to kiss him all over. He was finally home and it felt so good. Dan lifted her tshirt over her head and threw it across the room. He dipped his head and flicked his tongue across one nipple as his fingers teased the other. Serena's head fell back, giving him access to the smooth length of her neck.

"God, you feel so good," he whispered. Dan grabbed her by the waist and placed her beside him so he could slip off her shorts, which were tantalizingly short. "No underwear? Naughty!"he exclaimed.

Serena merely giggled and undid his belt buckle. Soon they were both naked and caressing each other as they gasped for breath. Dan rubbed her most intimate regions which illicited moans so loud that the neighbors could hear. "Stop the teasing Humphrey,"she demanded.

He lay back on the couch as she climbed on top of him. Their eyes locked as their bodies became one seamless unit. Neither of them spoke as they matched other thrust for thrust. Serena grasped his shoulder as her hips bucked to keep up with his frenzied rhythm. Dan was insatiable and she loved that about him. She no longer felt ashamed of her wild side when she was with him because that was something they had in common. Afterwards, they clung to each other neither of them wanting to move from their spot.

"Now that's what I call a home coming,"Dan said jokingly. Serena slapped him on the shoulder and said, "you're silly. I have something to tell you."

"What is it?"

"It's something we've talked about, but I need you to know that I didn't plan it,"she said as she bit her lip. Dan looked at her with concern. He held her face in his hands and said, "Whatever it is, I promise I won't be upset. You can tell me anything."

"I know. I know. I might need a new wedding dress,"she said with a smile.

"A dress? All this drama over a dress," Dan said with exasperation. Serena put her finger on his lips and said, "shhh let me finish. I might need a maternity dress."

Dan blinked a few times as he processed what she was telling him. "You're pregnant? We're pregnant."

"Yes."

Dan sat up and said, "When did you find out? How far along are you?"

"Today and I don't know yet,"Serena replied. His face broke out into a huge smile and it was his turn to excitedly cover her faces in kisses. "We're gonna have a child. This is amazing. Why would you think I thought you planned it?"

"I don't know, I was just nervous about your reaction."

Dan hugged her tightly and said, "You don't ever need to be nervous about my reaction. I love you, both of you " he said as he kissed her tummy


	19. Chapter 19

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the long delay. I hope you liked this chapter. I know it's a bit cheesy, but a little cheese doesn't hurt. I have 2 more chapters and an epilogue.

**Chapter 19: Forever is just around the corner**

Dan nervously paced in the foyer, stopping to check his watch every two minutes as he waited for Serena to come downstairs. "Are you ready yet?"

"I'll be down in a sec,"she yelled from upstairs.

"You said that twenty minutes ago."

Serena came down the stairs. She wore a floor length blue dress and you could see the small swell of her belly. Dan smiled up at her. It was true what they said about pregnant women. She was glowing, but then again, Serena always glowed. She personified sunshine. Looking at her always made him think of a warm summers day. "You need to relax,"she said as she kissed him on the cheek.

"Aren't you nervous?"

"I am? But, I know it's going to be okay," she said as she grabbed her purse and followed him out the door.

At the doctor's office Dan fidgeted as Serena casually flipped through the parenting magazine she held in her lap. She laughed at him and continued to browse through the magazine. "Did you know that talking to the baby speeds up their language development?"

"No, I didn't," Dan said as he looked around nervously.

Serena grabbed his hand and said, "Stay still. You're making me nervous."

"I'm sorry. I can't help it. How can you be so calm?"He asked.

She smiled at him and said, "It's easy. I have you."

A woman in white lab coat came into the waiting room and called her name. Dan and Serena followed her into one of the rooms. Dan sat beside her as the woman set up the ultra sound. "Is this first your baby?"she asked.

"Yes, it is."

She pointed to the monitor and said, "do you see that small shape over there. That's your baby. The heartbeat is strong and the she's a good size"

Dan and Serena looked at each other with tears in their eyes. "She? It's a girl," Serena cried. Dan held her hand and kissed the top of her head.

"Everything looks okay here. A copy will go to the doctor and a copy to yourselves. Do you want me to print it for you or would you rather do it yourselves?"

"We'd love a copy now," Dan said.

When they got home, they were immediately barraged by phone calls and visitors who were there to share in their joy. Serena had immediately called Blair to let her know that she was having a little girl and her friend made a comment about how she had to ensure that her Brooklyn genes remained dormant while she reminded her that they were going to raise their baby there. Lily arrived with Vanya, Dorota and enough food to last a week. Nate arrived with Jenny in tow and a suspicious grin on his face.

"You guys didn't have to all come," Dan said.

"Of course we did. This is a momentous occasion," Nate said.

"The baby hasn't been born yet."

Jenny smacked her brother and said, "Where is your sense of celebratory glee. You are going to be a father and we're here to celebrate this with you. Don't be a dufus."

"I'm not a dufus," Dan protested.

Nate came up to him and wrapped his arm around Dan's shoulder and said, "No, you're just a downer, but that's why we love you man."

Serena touched her belly and smiled as she chatted with her mother about baby names and the benefits of having a nanny. "I don't want a nanny. I want to take care of her myself."

"That's commendable dear, but babies are a lot of work."

"Like you would know," Serena muttered under her breath

"I heard that. I know I wasn't the best mother, but I thought we'd moved past all of that," Lily said.

"I'm sorry and we are working on it. It's just not all water under the bridge yet. I'm going to find Dan," she said before walking away from what was bound to turn into another fight.

She came up behind him and wrapped her arms around him. She layed her head on his shoulder and said, "let's go upstairs."

He nodded and followed her to their bedroom. She sat on the bed and said, "I'm exhausted. Lie down with me."

"What about our guests?"He asked.

"They'll be fine. Blair has it under control."

He removed Serena's shoes and massaged her feet as she lay back on the bed. Dan loosened his tie and kicked his own shoes off and joined her. He lay behind her with his hands on her belly. "Let's get married soon,"he whispered.

'Why?"

"I don't want a big wedding. Just me, you and a justice of the peace,"he said.

"That sounds romantic. We can have a big party after it's done. Blair and Nate can be our witnesses."

"And Jenny,"he added.

"And Casey."

Serena turned to face him. "So, when do we do it."

"Saturday, I'll make all the arrangements."

Dan knew that if he didn't invite his father and Serena's mother to the wedding it would only cause more friction in their damaged relationship, so he called Blair to handle the decorations while he called them to let them in on their plans. His father thought it was an excellent idea while Lily didn't understand why they didn't wait until the baby was borne so they could do it properly. He told her that this is what they wanted and at the end of the day it was their life. Dan invited Vanessa and her husband, but they couldn't make it in time. His cousin Evan was coming and the guest list had managed to stay under twenty. He let Serena in on the changes and she hugged him tightly before kicking him out of the house. So, he was at Hugo Boss with Nate trying on Tuxes and other suits while the girls got themselves ready.

"I can't believe you guys finally got your shit together," Nate said.

"You didn't exactly help matters."

"I was a non-issue," Nate replied.

"Touche."

Dan looked at his reflection in the mirror and grimaced. He hated tuxedos. He always felt like a fish out of water in them, so he opted for a simple black suit instead. He found one that fit so well that it seemed to have been tailored just for him. "So, what do you think?"

"What was wrong with the tux?"Nate asked.

"It's not me."

Nate simply shrugged and said, "Whatever you want. It's your day."

After they bought their suits, they made their way over to the flower shop to pick up the arrangements that Blair had asked them to get. Dan knew something was going on with Nate and Jenny, but he didn't want to intrude. He tried to bring up the subject several times, but he kept backing down. In the car on the way back to Brooklyn, Dan finally got up the nerve to broach the delicate subject.

"So, what's the deal with you and Jenny?"Dan asked.

"How long have you been itching to ask me that?"

"A couple of days," Dan said as he chuckled.

"We're dating. I was going to tell you, but it's still so new. I care about her Dan."

He punched his friend in the arm playfully and said, "I know you do. I was just wondering how long it would take before you admitted how you felt."

"You knew?"Nate asked.

"Yeah, it was sort of obvious, but then you started liking boys and I was starting to rethink my assumptions and maybe you liked me instead."

"Funny. You think you're so clever."

"I don't think, I know."

Nate rolled his eyes and grabbed dan's head and put him in a choke hold. "Can't breathe."

Blair marched up to them as they scuffled in front of the house. "What are you doing Nate? I need a breathing groom or Serena will kill me."

"Yeah, you don't want to be responsible for making my child fatherless do you?"

"Shut up Humphrey," Nate and Blair said simultaneously.

Blair pushed the two into the bedroom on the bottom floor. They were given a little an over hour to get ready before the ceremony began. The dining room was decorated with chairs and a small aisle for Serena to make her way to the make-shift alter. There were flowers placed at the alter and in various places down the aisle. It wasn't fancy, but it was still beautiful.

Serena looked at her reflection as she placed the veil on her head. Her hair was styled in beautiful curls. She wore a simple ivory dress that she found in a dress shop downtown. It was floor length and made of chiffon. She couldn't believe she was about to marry Dan, the only man she had ever really loved. It was hard to believe that all of this had happened in a little over a year. It seemed that destiny had a plan for them. Serena laid her hand on her stomache and said, "Hey kid. The big day is here. We're gonna be an official family soon. Me, you and Dan. I hope you look like your daddy."

"Are you talking to the baby?"Blair asked.

"Yeah, the doctor said it's good for the baby."

Blair wrapped her arms around her friend. "I can't believe this is happening. You're getting married and having a baby."

"It's perfect. I'm so happy B."

"I know you are. I'm glad you found Humphrey again."

"Really?"

"Yes. He maybe Brooklyn, but he loves you and you're different with him and God were you two a mess when you were apart."

"Yeah we were. So, this is it. You ready to escort me down that aisle."

"I still can't believe you want me to do that," Blair said. She was touched by Serena's offer when she had asked her the other day.

"Well Casey is my mate of honor and you're family."

Dan watched as Casey came down the aisle with his cousin who felt more than a little uncomfortable about escorting a guy down the aisle. He joined Nate and Dan at the front and nodded awkwardly at Casey. Dan tried to keep from laughing. Only Serena would find it appropriate to have a guy as her maid of honor. The music changed and Blair and Serena made their way down the aisle. Dan could not take his eyes off of her. She was beautiful. His breath hitched and his eyes watered as she inched towards him. He reached for her hand and said, "Hey beautiful."

"Hey baby," she said as she held tightly to his hand. He kept his eyes locked on hers as they both listened to the minister drone on about the sanctity of marriage.

"The bride and groom wish to recite their own vows. We'll begin with the groom, Daniel J. Humphrey."

Dan took a small paper out of his breast pocket and read, "When I was fourteen years old I found something so beautiful and so rare that I didn't know what to do with it. I found true love. All it took was two words from your beautiful lips and I was a goner. Over the years, I grew to know who you were and that love only expanded over time. A love that comes that early, brings risk and pain, but I wouldn't trade a moment of loving you for it brought me here today. You are the reason that I am the man that I am today. I promise to love you forever and to take care of you."

Serena wiped the tears from eyes and looked over to Casey who handed her a small slip of paper. "Dan, my love, my heart, my soul. Loving you is never easy and not just cause you're a pain in the ass. Loving you saved me. You came into my life when I was so lost. You pulled me to shore and made me feel safe. I promise to be your harbor until I breathe my last breath. I promise to love you with all my heart until the end of time."

"With those words I pronounce you husband and wife."

They danced their first dance in the middle of their living room with Serena's head on his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head and said, "I am glad we did it this way."

"Me too. Although, I was rather fond of my Vera Wang dress."

"I prefer you like this. You're beautiful Mrs. Humphrey."

"Why thank you Mr. Humphrey."

On the other side of the room blair was sipping champagne when Dan's cousin even came up to her. "You did a great job putting this altogether at the last minute."

"And you are?"

"Evan Michaels, Dan's cousin."

Blair raised her eyebrows. "I see. I didn't know Humphrey had such well-groomed relatives."

"It's a recessive gene,"he quipped.

"It better be,"she said before putting down her glass of champagne and following him out to the dance floor as Chuck watched from across the room.


	20. Chapter 20

**Only You**

**Author's Note:** This is the last chapter, but for those of you who were more invested in the NJ and CB story. I am planning on a sequel. A special thank you to all my readers.

**Chapter 20: Madison**

Serena was in her final trimester and she was beyond uncomfortable. Her feet were swollen and the late August heat was getting to her. The air conditioning had broken down in the house and the contractors were still fixing part of the house. Dan was working on his next book so he spent most of the day locked up in his office. She brushed the hair from her face and laid a hand on her belly. "Hey kid, I wish you'd just get here already. Mommy is tired of feeling gross."

"She's probably stubborn like her mommy?" Dan said as he walked over and sat down next to her on the couch. He handed her a glass of lemonade and said, "drink this."

"Thanks. How is the writing going?"

"It's going."

The sound of something crashing to the floor startled them both. "Sorry," yelled one of the workers.

"Are they ever going to finish?" Serena asked. Dan shrugged and went upstairs to see what had happened. When he got there he saw the remains of light fixtures all over the floor.

"That's coming out of your pay. How much longer before you guys are done?" Dan asked trying his best to keep his temper at bay.

"A week maybe three," the burly contractor replied. Dan sighed. "You were supposed to be done two weeks ago."

"We had a few problems."

"You need to be done soon. My wife is going to have the baby soon and I need the work done before the baby arrives."

A flustered Dan rejoined Serena downstairs. "How would you feel about us living with my parents for a few weeks?"

Serena raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "Why? What's wrong?"

"These jackasses are not going to be done the work for three more weeks and I can't work here and I know you are uncomfortable. The loft is just a few minutes away."

Serena smiled and said, "Sounds great."

Chuck watched Blair as she smiled up at the man, Evan, in the tailored suit. Chuck had been following them for weeks. They had started dating a few weeks after Dan and Serena's wedding. It had been years since Chuck had been with Blair, but he couldn't help but to still want her. He had screwed it up. He had taken her for granted and now she'd moved on yet again. This time to someone that might actually make her happy. But, what she couldn't get over was the fact that Evan was a Humphrey.

Evan and Blair walked into a fancy restaurant on the Upper East Side. He held out her chair for her and she smiled up at him. "Thank you."

He was a constant surprise; a true gentleman, but also willing to spar with her when needed. She hadn't felt this good in a long time. "What are you thinking?" Evan asked.

"That you ask too many questions. I'm beginning to see the family resemblance."

Evan arched an eyebrow and said, "and that's a bad thing because?"

"Because I try to forget that you are related to Dan or Rufus for that matter."

"That's my family you're talking about," he teased.

"Yes, an unfortunate flaw that I'm trying to overlook," she said with a smile. Evan winked at her before ordering her favorite wine. They ate in companionable silence and afterwards took a stroll in the Park.

"This heat wave is a bit much, but fall will be here soon," he said. Evan turned to see a familiar man in a black suit trailing behind them. "Blair, some man has been following us for the last few hours and I think I've spotted him before. Do you know him?"

Blair turned to see who he was talking about and was instantly overcome with rage. "Unfortunately, I do. Give me a few minutes."

She marched over to him and poked Chuck in the chest. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Just taking a stroll in the park."

"I know what you are doing and you need to stop,"Blair insisted.

"So, you've given up on fairy-tales and have opted for slumming it. I thought that was Serena's thing?"

"Shut up and leave me alone. I haven't seen you for eight years and suddenly you are everywhere. Just go away Chuck!" she said before marching back towards Evan.

"Are you okay?" Evan asked.

"I'll be fine."

Serena sat on the couch with Alison as Dan and Rufus lugged in their stuff. The older woman smiled down at her daughter-in-law and offered her a glass of water. "Here you go dear."

"Thanks for letting us stay here. The contractors are taking forever and with the air-conditioning down, it's very uncomfortable in the house."

Alison patted Serena's hand and said, "It's not a problem dear. We're happy to have you. How are you holding up?"

Serena shifted a bit in her seat and said, "As best as I can. She's been kicking quite a bit lately." She laid her hand on her stomach as a contraction hit her. The pain was so severe that she shut her eyes and prayed for the moment to pass quickly. Serena yelped with pain as another contraction hit her a few minutes later. Dan heard her and came rushing to her side. "You okay? Talk to me?"

"It's just a contraction. I'll be fine."

Alison got up, picked up the phone and handed it to Dan. "Call her doctor. She's going into labor."

"Labor? Now?"

"She had two contractions in less than three minutes. Trust me Dan I know labor when I see it. I went through it twice."

"But, but the baby isn't supposed to be here for another three weeks. That's too soon."

Serena reached for his hand and said, "Just call the doctor Dan."

Alison soothed Serena as Dan called the doctor and prepared her overnight bag. Fifteen minutes later they were all huddled in Rufus's van on their way to the local hospital. Dan was wringing his hands while Serena yelled every time a contraction came. The pain kept getting worse and she wasn't sure how much more she could take. They rolled her into the delivery room while Dan filled out the paper work.

"I'll be there as soon as I fill these out babe," Dan said before kissing Serena goodbye. Once he had gotten through the forms, he decided that there were a few more people that needed to be here. Dan starts dialing his cell.

"Humphrey? What is it? I'm busy."

"I, I. Serena is having the baby, now" Dan said frantically.

"What? But, she's early."

"I know. She's three weeks ahead of schedule."

"I'll be right there," Blair said.

Dan made a few more phone calls to Nate and Jenny as well as Serena's mother, Eric and grandmother. A few hours later, the waiting room was packed. Dan was inside with Serena holding her hand as Blair stood on the other side of her giving orders to the nurses who looked more than a little annoyed.

"Push baby, you can do it."

"Shut the hell up Dan," Serena screamed as she pushed. A little over an hour later, she gave birth two a six pound baby girl. The doctor looked over at Dan and said, "Do you want to do the honors daddy?"

He shook his head and cut the umbilical chord. Tears were streaming down his face as he held his baby girl in his hands. Once the baby was washed and wrapped up in a blanket, he handed her over to Serena. "She's beautiful just like her mother."

Dan kissed both of his girls, but he couldn't keep his eyes off the baby. "My Maddy, you're finally here," Serena said as she held her daughter to her. Blair headed towards the doors so she could give the new family some time alone. "Where are you going?" Dan asked.

He motioned for her to join them. "Say hi to your auntie Blair. She's a little bossy, but she'll take care of you just like she took care of your mommy." Blair locked eyes with Dan and in that moment she knew that she had gotten the brother she never wanted, but always needed. Serena handed the baby over to Blair. "Meet Madison Blair Humphrey," Serena said.

"You didn't have to S?"

"Yes, I did."

Blair held the little girl and kissed her softly. This was what she wanted. A family, a life like what Serena had found. She handed the baby back to Serena and made her way out to the waiting room where she saw Evan and Chuck sitting side by side. Fantasies of the life she'd always dreamed she would have with Chuck flashed before her, but knew that she had to move on.

"It's a girl. She's gorgeous."

Dan and Serena were finally alone with the baby after a long day of visitors. They had moved Serena to a private room. The baby was sleeping and Dan still couldn't keep his eyes off her. "She looks so much like you, Serena."

"I think she looks like you. She has your mouth and your nose."

"Really?"

"She does."

Dan sat beside her and said, "We're parents."

"We are. I love you," she said as she kissed him.

Dan kissed her and said, "You always knew didn't you know? You never gave up on us. All those years apart and you still kept hoping."

"I just knew that you were the only one. I would never love anyone else. Only you."

THE END


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